Vacation
by RedGrayBall
Summary: Beckett is forced to take two weeks of paid leave, and Castle invites her to the Hamptons with him. She reluctantly agrees, and starts to discover that her feelings for him are stronger than she was willing to admit.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: I recently finished my fic 'Correspondence', where Castle and Beckett are separated by distance and have to communicate in other ways. I thought it would be interesting to explore the opposite situation, where both of them are together but removed from the familiar environment of the 12th Precinct.**_

* * *

><p>Castle glanced again toward Gates's office, where he could see the Captain and Beckett engaged in a heated discussion. His partner had been called in there just over ten minutes ago, and the situation had deteriorated rapidly.<p>

He couldn't actually hear anything that was being said, but the tones of the two women's voices told him all he needed to know.

He got up and walked over towards Ryan and Esposito, and leaned against Ryan's desk.

"What do you think it's about?" Ryan asked, and Castle shook his head.

"I think Gates is chewing her out for punching that suspect," Esposito said, with a grin on his face, and Ryan frowned.

"That was a week ago," Ryan replied, "and it was self defence."

"_You _know that and _I_ know that, but the Captain has to give her the big lecture anyway."

"That's not what it's about," Ryan muttered, and Esposito folded his arms.

"You got a better idea?"

"I think it's about being late with filing the paperwork from that case with the guy from the circus," Ryan replied. "What was the vic's name? Harrison? Something like that."

Esposito tilted his head and shrugged. "Maybe. What do you think, Castle?"

"I think Gates is finally going to ban me from the precinct," Castle said, not looking away from the glass-panelled office just across the bullpen, where he could now see Beckett gesticulating in frustration, and Gates shaking her head.

Ryan looked worried. "But you could just call the Mayor, right?" he asked, and Castle frowned.

"Maybe. Probably. I dunno; I just have a bad feeling about this, guys."

The three men sighed in unison, and resumed their silent vigil.

* * *

><p>"But <em>sir—<em>"

"But nothing, Detective," Gates said, clasping her hands on top of her desk and fixing Beckett with a piercing glare. "This decision is final."

"But you can't just expect me to–!"

"I expect you to follow orders, as long as you're working here," Gates interrupted, and Beckett rolled her eyes.

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I?"

"No, you're not," Gates said, in a more even voice. "Kate, you have _sixty-eight days_ of paid vacation time accumulated, and there are already two detectives in this precinct who are off work with stress-related illness. The commissioner's memo was very clear."

Beckett sighed and folded her arms. "But I feel fine!"

"Clearly," Gates said with a note of sarcasm. "And you're going to feel even _more_ fine after you take a mandatory two-week vacation, starting tomorrow."

"But–"

"_Do I make myself clear_, Detective?"

Beckett's eyes blazed defiantly, but she knew when she was beaten. "Crystal clear, sir," she replied tightly.

"Then enjoy your vacation, and we'll see you in a couple of weeks," Gates said with a forced smile, and pointed to the door of her office. "And I want that paperwork for the Hamilton case before you go."

Beckett muttered something that Gates couldn't quite make out, then got up and stomped out of the office.

* * *

><p>"She's coming out!" Castle said, and Esposito immediately swivelled round in his chair and started typing on his computer.<p>

Ryan grabbed his desk phone's handset and launched into an entirely imaginary conversation about financial records, and Castle just stood there, looking to his left and then his right, and finally grabbing a piece of paper frantically from Ryan's desk and pretending to study it intently.

Beckett took three steps out of Gates's office then folded her arms and glared at them, with a thunderous look on her face.

"Catching up on your reading, Castle?" she asked, and he gulped.

"I'm, uh, yeah. I'm just helping Ryan with his… uh…"

He actually looked at the document for the first time, and his heart sank when he realised that not only was it a booklet of paint colour samples that Jenny had left there for her husband three days before, but that it was also upside down.

"…paint," he finished lamely, shooting a death glare at Ryan, who winced apologetically.

Beckett huffed, her eyes blazing, then stormed off to her desk.

"That didn't seem good," Ryan said, keeping his voice quiet.

"No," Castle replied, watching her sit down at her desk and start striking keys on her keyboard furiously.

"So… are you gonna go talk to her?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I think I'll make her some coffee first, though. Just leave her be for now."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Ryan said, swivelling his chair around with one last cautious glance over towards Beckett.

* * *

><p>Less than five minutes later, Castle carefully carried two coffees from the break room and approached Beckett's desk. He paused when he reached the visitor's chair that he thought of as his, and she glanced up at him. Her expression softened slightly when she saw the coffees, and she gestured vaguely towards the chair.<p>

He sat down, and handed her a cup. She took it without saying anything, and immediately took a sip.

"I'm sorry," he said, and she glanced at him, looking puzzled.

"For?"

"For the thing with Gates," he said. "She wants to kick me out, doesn't she?"

She peered at him for several seconds, and then shook her head in irritation. "Of _course_ you would think it's about you."

His eyebrows shot up. "It's not about me?"

She huffed again and then shook her head, and he grinned.

"Great!" he said, then the smile froze on his face as she glared at him. He coughed, and looked down at his coffee. "Not great, I mean," he said. "Obviously it was bad."

She felt a grin pulling at the corner of her mouth despite the anger and tension that had been filling her for the last twenty minutes or so, and she forced herself not to show it.

_Trust you to almost make me laugh at a time like this_, she thought. She pushed the thought away, then sighed in exasperation.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, looking up at her again, and she thwacked the Return key on her keyboard hard enough to make a loud CLACK that seemed to echo around the bullpen.

Castle winced. "Or we could not talk about it," he said, taking a careful sip of his coffee.

Suddenly, Beckett swivelled around in her chair to face him, and folded her arms again. "Vacation time!" she spat.

Castle blinked twice.

Beckett huffed again, rolling her eyes.

"Uh… yeah," Castle said, slowly. "If you're stressed or whatever, you could totally take a vacation. Get away from Gates for a little while. I think it could be good for you."

He had a tentative, appeasing smile on his face, unsure whether he was saying the right thing. There was a single beat of silence before she unfolded her arms and clenched her fists instead.

"I don't _want_ to take a vacation!" she shouted, drawing glances from Esposito and Ryan, and a couple of other passing officers.

Castle blinked again. _A swing and a miss_, he thought, frowning.

"Hey, it was just a suggestion," he said. "Forget I said anything. You don't have to take a vacation if you don't want to."

"Ugh!" Beckett cried, slamming her fist down onto the desk, and Castle flinched.

She took several deep breaths, then met his gaze again. He looked confused and worried, and was holding his coffee cup at mid-chest level, like a shield.

"I _do_ have to take a vacation," she hissed. "That's what Gates said. Two weeks, starting tomorrow. It's a load of crap!"

Castle blinked again, his frown disappearing. Then the barest grin slowly appeared on his face.

"_Castle_," she said warningly, but he just put his coffee down and sprang up from his chair.

"Back in two minutes," he said in an excited tone, and hurried off.

Beckett watched him disappear around the corner, then set her coffee down beside his.

"Or I could just go to jail for shooting you," she muttered, then she buried her face in her hands.

* * *

><p>"OK, it's all arranged," Castle said triumphantly, bounding up to her desk and dropping into his chair with a bump.<p>

"Go away," she replied, her voice muffled by her hands.

"Don't you want to know what I mean?" he teased, picking up his coffee and taking a large swig of the dark liquid, then sighing in appreciation.

"I have a gun," she said, still not looking up.

"And _I_," he replied, drawing out the syllable for several seconds, "have a proposal for you."

"That's a coincidence," she muttered, and he pouted at the top of her head for a moment.

After another few seconds, she sighed heavily and lifted her head out of her hands. "Fine," she said. "On top of everything else that's screwing up my day, do tell."

Castle quickly set his coffee cup down again and cleared his throat. His eyes were sparkling with excitement, and again she had to forcibly conceal her instinctive grin at his boyishness.

"Imagine, if you will," he began, moving his hand in a waving motion through the air as he looked off into the middle distance, "a beachfront paradise. Sun, sand, a pool, blue skies, clear water, jet skis, boats, barbecues, and the most charming and ruggedly handsome companion you could ever hope for. And all only 90 minutes away from the city!"

Her eyebrows shot up. _He can't be serious_.

"Home-cooked meals, total relaxation, and door-to-door transport there and back," he continued. "All for the low, low price of zero dollars and zero cents. It's an opportunity too good to miss!"

She folded her arms again, taking a calming breath. Her pulse rate had risen slightly. He flirted with her regularly, and she rebuffed him each time, but this was something entirely different.

_I never thought he'd ask me again_, she thought. After the fiasco with Gina and the long Summer without him the year before, she had often wondered what it would have been like if she had said yes before his ex-wife had elbowed her way back into his life.

_But it's totally inappropriate_, she thought. _What's he going to expect if I said yes to a vacation with him in his house in the Hamptons? At least last time Alexis was going to be there too._

She tuned back into what he was saying, and picked up something about him not being able to guarantee the weather, of course, but it was usually pretty good.

"Castle, I can't go to your beach house with you," she said, keeping her voice quiet.

"But it'd be great!" he said earnestly, and she allowed herself to grin slightly. "And it's not like you're allowed to be at work for the next couple of weeks anyway. We'd have an amazing time! Just the three of us."

_Three?_ she thought, feeling tension rise in her chest. _What the hell has he got in mind?_

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "And who _else_ is going? Not that I'm going."

He frowned. "Weren't you listening? Like I said, Alexis has term break coming up, and we weren't going to go away because I'd be working with you. But now you're _not_ working, so we can go away, just the three of us."

_Huh_, she thought. _That… probably changes things. Doesn't it? But–_

"What about Martha?" She finished the thought out loud, but Castle just waved his hand dismissively.

"She's running her acting school; she's booked up for weeks. I couldn't drag her out of the city."

"Castle, I can't go on vacation with you and your daughter," she said, and she was unsettled to hear the note of doubt in her voice.

He sighed. "Can't, or won't?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but he interrupted her.

"Look, just think about it, OK? Alexis deserves a vacation, and so do you. The house is sitting there empty, just waiting. It won't cost you a dime, and you're on forced leave from tomorrow anyway. We can be back in the city in under two hours if we need to. It just _makes sense_."

She had to admit that he had a point.

_This is a disaster waiting to happen_, her mind cautioned her, but then she glanced at her pile of paperwork and then over towards Gates's office, and she grimaced.

She took another sip of her coffee, and then ventured another look at Castle. He was still watching her, with probably the same expression that he'd worn when he was a child, and was just about to open his presents on Christmas morning.

A warm feeling chased through her. _You are a ridiculous and incredibly annoying human being_, she thought, but she was already grudgingly smiling.

"I'd be insane to say yes to this," she said.

He just tilted his head, as if to say _Maybe_.

"You're… you. And I'd probably shoot you before the end of the second day."

He smirked.

"People would talk," she said, feeling a slight flush rise in her cheeks.

He raised an eyebrow. _People already talk. Who cares?_

"And there would be absolutely _nothing_ for them to talk _about_. Because I will have my gun. And my own bedroom. With a lock."

He nodded earnestly.

"This is a terrible and crazy idea," she said.

He shrugged, grinning even more widely.

"But Alexis does deserve a proper vacation," she continued. "And I don't have any choice about taking time off, so I might as well not sit around my apartment for two weeks."

He tilted his head and pointed towards her. _Exactly._

"We would be just two… colleagues, on vacation. At the same place. There's nothing wrong with that."

He shook his head vigorously.

"And absolutely _nothing_ is going to happen. This is strictly about convenience. And Alexis."

He gave a thumbs-up.

She sighed, and gave him a narrow-eyed glare for several seconds before speaking again.

"Well I'm glad we had this talk," she said, folding her arms again.

He turned his head slightly to one side, raising an eyebrow. _So…?_

She sighed again. _I must be crazy_, she thought, studiously ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.

"Oh fine, then," she said at last, and he sprang up from his seat, punching the air.

Esposito and Ryan looked over with identical questions on their faces.

"_We're going on vacation!_" Castle shouted, and the other two men slowly turned their heads to look at each other.

"Oh_ god_," Beckett muttered, then buried her face in her hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Castle was walking back to the bullpen from the men's room when a strong pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him through a doorway.

"What the–?" he said, finding himself standing in one of the interrogation rooms with Esposito and Ryan eyeing him suspiciously.

"Guys?" Castle asked, but Esposito just pointed towards the interview chair.

"Take a seat," he said, his tone making it clear that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"O-kay…" Castle replied, shrugging and going over to the chair. He sat down, and the other two men took the seats opposite.

Ryan laid his hands flat on the table in front of him. "So spill it," he said, doing his very best imitation of a tough-guy attitude.

Castle looked from one to the other, puzzled. "Spill what?"

Esposito slammed a fist against the table, making Castle flinch. "Don't play dumb, bro," he said. "What's this about a _vacation_ with Beckett?"

"Oh, that," Castle said, his shoulders relaxing. "We're going to my place in the Hamptons for two weeks with Alexis, starting tomorrow. Gates put Beckett on paid leave because she hasn't used any vacation days since forever."

Ryan frowned. "That's it?" he asked, and Castle shrugged.

"That's it," he replied.

"That is _not_ it," Esposito said. "This is a big deal! Vacation? Your beach house? That's pretty cosy."

"I wish," Castle muttered, and Ryan grinned lopsidedly.

"So there's no game plan?" Esposito asked, and Castle shook his head.

"Just a vacation with my daughter and my partner," he replied.

Esposito raised an eyebrow.

"My super-hot partner," Castle amended, and Ryan laughed and shook his head.

"Here's what's gonna happen," Esposito said, leaning forward, and Ryan glanced at the other man curiously. "You are gonna keep us up to date every step of the way. I'm not kidding. If anything happens, we want to know."

Ryan nodded, again trying for the tough-guy attitude, and again failing.

"Guys, you will be the first to know if anything happens – which it probably won't," Castle replied, and Esposito stared at him for a long moment before nodding.

"Glad we got that sorted out," he said. "Oh, and if you do anything to hurt her…"

Esposito cocked his finger and thumb at Castle, in imitation of a gun.

Castle raised both hands in surrender. "Message received," he said.

* * *

><p>"Beckett," she said into her desk phone, leaning back in her chair and taking another sip of her now-cold coffee with a grimace.<p>

"_Girl, what the heck has gotten into you?_" came Lanie's voice over the line, and Beckett grinned.

"Good morning to you too," she replied. "and what are you talking about?"

"_You're going on _vacation_ with the writer?_"

Beckett froze. _Esposito, I'll kill you_.

"Uh…"

"_Yeah, you're damned right 'uh',_" Lanie said.

"Gates put me on two weeks' paid leave," she finally replied.

"_What did you do to deserve _that_?_"

"I haven't taken any vacation days since… actually, I don't know when. And apparently people are off sick with stress. So, new rule, and I have to stay away from work for two weeks. The vacation was _his_ idea."

"_And _you_ said yes._"

"Alexis is going to be there!"

"_Like one big happy family?_" Lanie said, in a teasing tone, and Beckett sighed.

"I'm making a huge mistake, right?"

"_Oh hell no, girl, but you'd better figure out what you want to happen._"

Beckett felt her cheeks flush, and she glanced nervously around the bullpen, but there was still no-one within earshot.

"I don't want _anything_ to happen, except me relaxing for a couple of weeks and hopefully not killing him."

"_Mm-hm,_" Lanie replied, clearly unconvinced.

"What does _that_ mean?"

"_It means there's something between you two, even if you won't admit it to yourself. And if I'm wrong, you wouldn't be going on vacation with him and his daughter._"

Beckett huffed, sweeping her hair behind her ear with more force than was necessary.

"_Nothing_ is going to happen," she said, in a fierce whisper.

"_Suit yourself, girl, but that's not a denial,_" her friend replied, and Beckett could hear the smile in her voice.

"I really have to finish this paperwork."

"_Yep, you get that stuff done so you can go home and pack. And don't forget to take your–_"

"_Bye_, Lanie," Beckett interrupted, and hung up with a shake of her head.

_This is going to be a long two weeks_, she thought.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went by surprisingly quickly, and Beckett handed in the completed case paperwork just after 3PM. Gates told her she could leave immediately, since she no doubt had arrangements to make, and she reluctantly nodded.<p>

Beckett walked back out into the bullpen and across to her desk, finding Castle sitting in the visitor chair and just finishing a conversation on his cellphone. He hung up, and grinned at her.

"That was my housekeeper; she's going to get the place ready for us tonight, so we can head out in the morning."

"Great," Beckett said cautiously. "Is this a live-in housekeeper?"

He shook his head. "Nope. She just cleans and airs the house before we arrived, comes in to clean twice a week while we're there, then cleans it and closes it up again after we leave. She lives locally out there."

_Lives of the rich and famous_, Beckett thought. "Shame you couldn't get her to tidy my apartment while we're away," she said, and Castle smirked.

"Alexis is packing as we speak," he said excitedly. "We'll come by and pick you up at your place tomorrow morning at 9:30."

"Fine," she said, gathering up her things from her desk. "Then I guess I should head home and work out what I'm taking with me."

"I can't believe you're actually gonna come along," he said, springing up and grabbing his blazer from the back of the chair. "This is going to be excellent!"

She looked at him with a mixture of amusement and suspicion and he pulled the blazer on and put his phone back in his pocket. "Yeah, well… just don't make me regret it."

He put his palm flat against his chest – _Who, me?_ – and she laughed.

They said their farewells to Ryan and Esposito and walked out of the bullpen and along the corridor towards the elevator.

"Seriously, though, this means a lot to Alexis. She's _psyched_ that you're going to be there," he said, in a quiet voice. "So thank you for making my daughter happy."

She glanced up at him and saw the earnest look on his face, and she smiled at him. All at once, the butterflies were back in her stomach again, and she quickly cleared her throat.

"I'm looking forward to spending time with Alexis too," she said.

He looked at her and opened his mouth to say that he was looking forward to spending time with _her_ too, then he decided against it and simply smiled.

They reached the elevator and he pressed the call button, and the doors opened immediately. As they stepped inside, Beckett felt his hand briefly come to rest on the small of her back, before dropping away again. She gasped quietly, but managed to keep enough composure to press the button for the ground floor.

She glanced up at him again after a moment, but he seemed to be lost in thought, with a small grin playing around his lips.

_Two weeks_, she thought, folding her arms tightly across her chest as the elevator began to descend.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: Just a very short chapter, on a Friday evening here in the UK. We have plenty of time. They're going away for two whole weeks, after all.**_

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Detective Beckett!" Alexis chirped as Beckett climbed into the front passenger seat of Castle's black SUV.<p>

"Hey, Alexis," she replied, twisting around in her seat to smile at the girl. "It's good to see you. And call me Kate."

"I'm _really_ glad you're coming with us, Kate."

"I'm… looking forward to seeing the house."

Castle was loading Kate's bags into the trunk, and Alexis glanced back briefly before lowering her voice. "He's really glad you're going to be there too."

"Alexis…" Beckett began, in a kindly tone, but the girl just waved her hand.

"I know, I know," she said, with a gentle smile. "You're just work partners. And I know… what he's like. With you, I mean." She blushed slightly, before continuing. "But I swear he'll be on his best behaviour, and it really means a lot to him that you're with us. To me, too."

Beckett's heart melted, and she beamed at the girl. Alexis dropped her gaze for a moment before looking her in the eye again.

"He's a good man, you know."

The shyness and earnestness of her statement was heartbreaking, and Beckett blinked rapidly. "I know he is, honey. You're both very lucky to have each other."

"We all are," she said meaningfully, then she smiled one more time before Castle opened the driver's door and climbed in.

"All set?" he asked, grinning widely, and both Alexis and Beckett nodded.

He started the engine and pulled smoothly out into the flow of traffic. "I thought we'd grab a snack a little way up the road, in maybe 45 minutes? Break up the journey. I know a certain detective, who will remain nameless, usually needs another caffeine fix before 10:30AM."

Alexis grinned, and Beckett twisted around again to look at the girl and roll her eyes.

"Sounds good, Castle," she said wryly.

Alexis's brow creased with just the barest frown at Beckett's use of her father's last name, but she knew better than to interfere.

Traffic was light on the way out of the city, and they soon managed to get some decent speed up. Beckett was just thinking of suggesting they switch the radio on when Castle piped up, doing his best Captain Kirk impression.

"Mister Sulu, _set_ course for… Epsilon Zeta, warp factor… _six_," he said, gesturing dramatically towards the road ahead.

"Warp factor six, aye captain!" Alexis answered from the back seat, miming pressing buttons in mid air.

"_Spock_, are we likely to encounter any… _unusual_ life forms at our destination?" Castle asked, glancing in Beckett's direction with an oily grin and a raised eyebrow.

"Not any more unusual than the ones in here, _Captain_," she quipped, unable to hide the grin on her face.

Castle nodded sagely, looking out at the highway ahead as if it was an endless vista of stars. After a moment, he lifted a hand from the wheel and pressed the Play button in the central console of the dashboard, and the familiar opening strains of the _Star Trek_ TV theme burst from the SUV's speakers.

_Why does this not surprise me_? Beckett thought, stealing another glance at the man-child next to her.

A few seconds later, her grin became a wide smile as both father and daughter recited the lines in unison.

"_Space: the final frontier…"_


	4. Chapter 4

Beckett climbed out of the SUV and gaped at the enormous house.

Alexis was already out of the car, and Castle had given her the keys to unlock the front doors. He was unloading suitcases from the tailgate, and surreptitiously watching Beckett.

"So what's the verdict?" he asked, and her head spun round to look at him.

"Castle, it's… amazing. It's a beautiful house."

He grinned. "We like it," he said, closing the tailgate after unloading the last suitcase, then he picked up all three cases and nodded towards the house. "Let me give you the tour."

_Castle's beach house_, she thought, following him towards the large twin front doors, one of which was already ajar. _So this is where you were that Summer_.

She felt an irrational stab of jealousy at the thought, and she pushed it away. _Just colleagues on vacation together_. Now that she thought about it, it sounded ridiculous.

He stood aside graciously and allowed her to step through the doorway ahead of him, then followed her inside.

* * *

><p>"And this is your room," Alexis said excitedly, pushing open yet another door along the upstairs corridor in the West wing of the house, and revealing an expansive bedroom with a small sitting area, dressing table, and private bathroom. A bay window faced out towards the beach, and the midday sunlight was glittering on the blue water.<p>

"Wow," Beckett said, taking a few tentative steps inside. "It's beautiful. This is nicer than my apartment."

Alexis grinned widely, delighted at Beckett's remarks. Castle had begun the tour downstairs, but as soon as they had come upstairs, Alexis had taken over.

The master bedroom was further along the upstairs hallway, towards the end of the West wing, also on the rear side. Alexis's room was along the East corridor. The girl had just pointed to the door of her father's room without taking Beckett inside, sensing that it wasn't her place to show the room to the other woman.

Castle set Beckett's suitcase carefully down on a luggage chest, then crossed to where his daughter was standing. "Let's give Beckett some time to settle in," he said, and Alexis nodded. "We'll be starting lunch when you're ready."

Beckett looked puzzled. "We don't have to go out for groceries first?"

Castle grinned. "We'll have to go shopping in a couple of days, but my housekeeper has already stocked the place for the weekend. See you downstairs."

She nodded, giving him a small smile, and he walked out. Alexis lingered for just a second, giving Beckett a pointed look with a smile of her own, and then she left too, closing the door behind her.

_Castle Junior clearly has plans for me_, Beckett thought, feeling a mixture of anxiety and some other emotion, which she refused to analyse further.

She looked around at the luxurious room, and then sat down on the edge of the bed. It was pleasantly firm, with incredibly soft sheets.

"What are you doing, Kate?" she whispered to herself.

She shook her head, and for the second time in the last ten minutes she felt a burning curiosity about what his bedroom looked like. Her cheeks flushed, and she sighed.

_That's enough of that_, she told herself. _You're staying in this room for the entire vacation_.

Her thoughts drifted briefly to Gina and Meredith, who both knew what the master bedroom looked like and had no doubt spent many nights there with him.

_What do you care?_ her mind asked, and she frowned, suddenly furious.

She swept the thoughts away with an almost physical effort.

"I don't see either of them here _now_," she muttered, then went into the en suite to freshen up.

* * *

><p>"There she is," Castle said, glancing around as Beckett entered the kitchen. He was busily preparing a pasta salad on the island granite worktop.<p>

"Do you like your room?" Alexis asked brightly, and Beckett smiled.

"I love it," she said, walking over to join the girl. "I really appreciate you letting me come on your family vacation."

"_Our_ vacation," Alexis said, making Castle glance around with a warm expression on his face, and Beckett felt her pulse quicken.

"I just mean that you're like family to us, and we're both very happy you're here," Alexis said quickly. "Right, dad?"

"Absolutely," Castle replied, not breaking eye contact with Beckett, who flushed slightly and then cleared her throat.

"Well, thank you, Alexis," she said. "It's been a long time since I had a real break."

Castle looked over at his daughter, who was beaming at Beckett. Beckett noticed, meeting his eyes, and he gave her an apologetic grin.

"Alexis, could you go out and check I locked the car? I can't remember doing it," he said, and his daughter nodded and left the room.

"Sorry about that," he said, but Beckett just waved her hand.

"It's OK," she said. "She's just excited."

Castle tilted his head thoughtfully. "Yeah. And she's right, too. We're both very glad you're here."

He looked at her meaningfully for a long moment, then dropped his gaze.

"She–" Beckett began, seeing Castle look up at her again curiously, then she stopped, choosing her words carefully. "I think she… thinks that we're… or at least she _hopes_-"

"She just really likes you, Kate," he said evenly.

Her heart rate increased at the sound of her first name on his lips, and she smiled involuntarily.

"I'll make sure she doesn't make you feel uncomfortable," he continued. "Take it as a compliment. In fact, I've never known her to be like this with anybody. Not even Gina."

She felt warmth chase through her, and had to struggle to keep her face neutral.

"I'm flattered, and I hope she knows the feeling is mutual. She's a wonderful young woman."

"She has good taste, I'll give her that," Castle said with a smirk, and Beckett rolled her eyes.

Castle returned his attention to the lunch preparations, and Alexis rejoined them after a few moments (the SUV was indeed locked), immediately busying herself with setting the table.

Beckett offered to help but was shooed away on account of being a guest, and so she stood aside and watched father and daughter effortlessly move around the kitchen and each other.

_Not even Gina_, she thought, again feeling that surge of warmth.

She felt a little like an intruder, but it was impossible to be uncomfortable in the midst of their easy banter and absolute welcome.

Alexis picked up a large bowl of mixed salad from the countertop and turned to take it across to the kitchen table, then Castle quickly reached over to snatch a cherry tomato. Alexis gave him an exaggerated frown, and he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

Beckett felt like an arrow had struck her in the chest. She didn't often get to see him like this, relaxing with his daughter, and the casual and unashamed affection he displayed towards the girl was so utterly natural for him.

_This is the real Castle_, she thought. Not the playboy, or the petulant man-child. Those were both aspects of him, certainly, but at his core, this is who he was. _A father who adores his daughter. A partner who's loyal to the point of recklessness. A friend who's always there, day or night._

She took a deep breath.

_A man who loves, and shows it without shame or hesitation_.

She let her eyes wander over his face while he wasn't paying attention, and the corners of her mouth curled upwards into a soft smile for a moment, then fell again. _Coming here might have been a really, really bad–_

"Ready to eat?" Alexis asked, smiling at her, and Beckett shook herself out of her reverie, nodding in response.

"Where should I sit?" she asked, joining the girl at the table.

"Well that's dad's chair, and I usually sit here," Alexis replied, indicating two of the elegantly varnished wooden chairs around the eight-person table. Evidently father and daughter sat facing each other, which made perfect sense. "Grams sits beside me. You can pick which one is yours."

Beckett didn't miss the choice of words, and she glanced at Castle, raising one eyebrow knowingly.

He gave an apologetic shrug and began to open his mouth, but before he could speak, Beckett smiled at him and pulled out the vacant chair beside his.

"This one looks good to me," she said, sitting down and easing the chair back in, and Alexis beamed at her.


	5. Chapter 5

"Looks like I won't be needing my sunglasses," Alexis said, looking out from the spacious living room towards the beach. It was a moderate day, cloudy but dry.

They had finished lunch half an hour before, and had brought their coffees to the living room to relax.

"I'd bring a jacket though," Castle said, and Beckett looked between the two of them, puzzled.

"We always go for a walk along the beach after lunch on the day we get here," Alexis explained.

"So put some sneakers on," Castle said. "Did you bring a coat? It can get chilly with the wind coming in over the water."

Beckett nodded. "Sure," she said. "When do we leave?"

"Five minutes?"

"Then I should go change my shoes," Beckett replied, getting up from the couch and smiling at both Castle and Alexis before leaving the room.

Castle finished the last of his coffee, and set his cup down, glancing at his daughter. He saw that she was looking at him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Something on your mind, pumpkin?"

Alexis shrugged, and Castle grinned at her.

"Come on, out with it," he said, and she looked down at her knees before speaking.

"I like Kate," she said.

"I know you do, honey, and she really likes you too."

Alexis smiled, without looking up. "And what about you?"

Castle sighed. "Do you really have to ask?"

She finally looked up at him, searching his face for several moments.

"I guess not," she replied at last.

"So what are you thinking about?" he asked gently, genuinely curious. It wasn't like Alexis to be circumspect. She was always tactful, but usually direct too.

"I… I just wouldn't mind if she was around more. I just wanted you to know that." She blushed prettily, and Castle had to exert considerable effort to avoid laughing.

"Good to know," he said. "I feel that way too. And we've got her for a whole two weeks, so let's make the most of them, OK?"

Alexis nodded twice, then she sprung up from the armchair she had been curled up in. "I'll get my jacket," she said, then left the room.

Castle took a deep breath and then let out a loud sigh. _You've faced things that would terrify most people, Beckett, but you've never faced my daughter with matchmaking on her mind_.

* * *

><p>Beckett found the brisk sea breeze invigorating, and she felt all the tensions of work and the city melting away.<p>

They were striding along the beach at a comfortable pace, Alexis leading the way with a healthy flush in her cheeks.

Beckett made a quick sideways glance at Castle, and saw that he was watching his daughter with a gentle smile on his face.

_I hope you know how lucky you are, Alexis,_ she thought, smiling at him. He happened to look around at that exact moment, and his eyebrows lifted in pleased confusion.

"Have I got something on my face?" he asked, and she shook her head, glancing again at Alexis, who was still a number of paces ahead of them.

"She told me something this morning, back in the city," she said, nodding towards the girl. Castle remained silent, waiting for her to continue. "She said that you're a good man."

Castle's face became serious, and he looked at his daughter, still walking ahead of them. Beckett watched as he pressed his lips together, and swallowed.

"That means a lot to me," he said quietly after a few seconds, looking straight ahead as they walked.

Beckett's eyes roamed over his face in profile. His jaw was set, and she knew that he was keeping his emotions under control. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that she hadn't seen before, and her heart went out to him. _He loves her so much_, she thought, feeling a lump rise in her own throat.

"She's right, you know," she continued, matching his quiet tone. "You_ are_ a good man."

He looked around at her, surprised and delighted, but he didn't respond. She dropped her gaze to the sand that was passing underfoot as they walked, then after a moment she looped her arm companionably through his.

_What are you doing, Kate?_ her mind asked, but she pushed the question away.

She risked a quick glance up at him, and saw that he was again looking straight ahead, but now he was smiling.

Alexis chose that moment to glance back over her shoulder, and her eyes widened as her pace faltered. Beckett smiled warmly at her, and the girl returned the smile before dropping back level with the two of them, taking Castle's other arm.

"Not sure what I did to deserve this, but I'm not complaining," Castle said breezily, and the two women glanced first at him and then at each other before exchanging a grin.

* * *

><p>Alexis was fast asleep, curled up in an armchair, with her arms drawn in against her chest and her vivid red hair hanging partly over her face.<p>

Kate smiled warmly over at the girl from her spot on one section of the couch. She had various sections of today's _New York Times_ scattered around her, and a half-full mug of coffee on the table nearby.

Castle was further along the couch, lounging in the corner section, and reading the _New York Review of Books_ intently. Every so often, he looked up to steal a glance at either Alexis or Beckett.

"This is really nice," Castle said softly, and Beckett looked up at him. He was still focused on the magazine, but he gestured expansively to encompass all three of them.

"It is," she replied, and then he did look at her for a long moment.

"It's good to have you here. With us. You've always been welcome." he said at last, and she dropped her gaze. Several seconds passed, and he was about to go back to the _Review_ when she spoke.

"You taking a break from the writing while we're here, Castle, or do you have an office I haven't seen yet?"

He shrugged. "I might do a little, but I want to enjoy the break. I have a desk in my bedroom."

He gave a small laugh. "But I got into the habit of just using the dining room table most of the time. The sound of the keyboard in the bedroom used to _really_ annoy–"

He stopped abruptly and his eyes widened as he realised what he was saying.

Beckett raised one sculpted eyebrow. She felt a stab of an unpleasant emotion, but she was also amused at the sudden self-reproach in his expression.

"Gina?" she suggested, in an innocent tone. "Or Meredith? Or maybe both?"

"Uh… I'm sorry," he said, sheepishly, squirming in his chair and running a hand nervously through his hair.

"Why?" she asked, with a shrug. "I was just curious where you write when you're here."

He sighed, and she knew that he was silently cursing his own stupidity. She kept a straight face, and picked up another section of the _Times_.

"Oh, and Castle?" she said breezily, not looking up from the newspaper, but she knew that he was now staring at her. "Feel free to use your desk as much as you want. I won't be able to hear you from my room."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him lift a hand to his face and press his palm over his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Castle yawned and stretched his arms out diagonally above his head, twisting his neck to get the kinks out of it. He had read the entire _New York Review of Books,_ cover to cover, and the afternoon had become early evening.

Alexis was still curled up across from him in an armchair, and Beckett was busily filling in a crossword in the _Times_. He would usually offer to help, but truthfully she was far better at them than he was.

_Dumb move_, he thought, thinking about his accidental mention earlier of his ex-wife being annoyed at him writing in the bedroom. It was Gina he'd been referring to, but it wouldn't have been any better if he'd said Meredith instead.

He sighed silently. Things had been going well this afternoon. Alexis seemed to have become a sort of bridge between him and Beckett. _Alexis makes her see me as a father instead of just her kind-of partner_, he realised.

He reflected on that fact for a few moments, then stole a very brief glance over at Beckett. She was engrossed in her crossword, and was chewing on the end of the pencil she was using to fill in the words.

Castle smiled briefly, taking in the sight of her. Her hair reflected the muted light from the floor-to-ceiling windows facing out to the bay, and her full lower lip stuck out tantalisingly.

_Don't do this to yourself_, he thought, frowning and forcing himself to look away. He screwed his eyes shut and massaged his temples with his fingers, trying his best to banish the image of her face from his mind.

Beckett saw the movement out of the corner of her eye, and looked over towards him. When she saw his pained expression, she was puzzled.

She was about to ask him if he was alright when he opened his eyes and got up from the couch, then walked towards the doorway leading to the kitchen. He glanced at Alexis, seeing that she was still asleep, and then left the room.

Beckett watched him leave, then she also looked over at the sleeping girl for a few moments before putting the crossword aside and standing up.

Castle was pulling items from the large, double-door refrigerator when Beckett padded noiselessly into the kitchen. She saw what he was doing and took a few more steps towards him as he first reached into a cupboard below the worktop to get a saucepan, and then unhooked a large brass pan from the overhead rack running along part of one wall of the kitchen.

"Need some help?" she asked, and he spun around, startled.

"Jeez," he said, clasping a hand to his chest. "You scared the hell out of me."

She grinned, raising an eyebrow.

They looked at each other for a moment, then Castle smiled and turned back to the dinner preparations, pointing to some vegetables sitting beside a cutting board with a sharp knife already laid out. "You could get started on those, if you like."

"Sure," she said, walking over to the other work surface. She began slicing up the vegetables, and after a minute or so she spoke again, without looking round. "You OK?"

He glanced over at her. "Hmm?"

"You looked like you had a headache or something, just before you came through here," she said, keeping her eyes on the knife she was using.

He blinked. _Didn't realise you were paying so much attention_.

He wasn't sure how to respond. It wasn't like he could just say _I wish I hadn't mentioned my ex-wife to you_, because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. She had come here for a vacation, and as much as he would like their relationship to be more than just professional, she had never allowed him to get much closer before. Yes, coming to the Hamptons was an encouraging step, but it was also just as much about her enforced leave from work as anything else. Which left him back at square one, as usual.

The sound of the knife rhythmically chopping vegetables suddenly stopped, and he pulled himself back to the present.

"Uh, sorry," he said quickly. "I'm fine. Just a little preoccupied." He gave her another small smile and then turned back to the task at hand.

She looked at him for moment, appraising him. _You're beating yourself up about that thing an hour ago_, she thought, shaking her head in amazement. _But why?_

Was he planning to make a move? She felt the butterflies again, and she pushed the feeling away. The explanation just didn't quite fit. Castle flirted with her all the time, but this situation was different – it was both safer _and_ more dangerous. Alexis was here, for one thing, and he was usually better-behaved in front of his daughter.

_But he's also so damned honourable_, she thought, and a small frown creased her forehead. Above all, he wanted her to relax and enjoy the vacation. If anything, he'd been flirting with her much _less_ than normal ever since they got here. Her frown deepened at this latest realisation.

_Why do you care, Kate?_ her mind asked, and she actually shrugged, avoiding the question. She was here now, in his beach house, on day one of a two-week stay. Just him, his daughter, and her. No Gina, and no Meredith.

_And you've got your own bedroom_, her mind added, but she wasn't sure what that meant, so she brushed the thought aside.

Castle had put a pot of water on to boil and was preparing a marinade for the three generous steaks sitting nearby, but his face had a faraway look, and was clearly lost in his own thoughts.

Beckett finished cutting up the vegetables, then she put the knife down and turned to fully face him. There was about six feet of space between them, and after a moment's thought she moved a couple of steps closer, causing him to look up.

"What's on your mind?" she asked, leaning one arm against the countertop.

_You_, he thought.

"Right now? Just… dinner. I'm getting hungry. I guess it's a little later than I thought."

She looked at him for several seconds, then nodded slowly. _Still being the honourable gentleman_, she thought.

"I guess so," she replied. "But there's something bothering you, Castle. I can tell."

_Uh-oh_, he thought, making a mental note to be more careful in future.

"Is that your professional opinion, detective?" he joked, hoping to deflect the conversation, but she didn't take the bait.

"I'm not here as a detective," she said quietly but clearly, not breaking eye contact, and he felt his heart rate increase. He swallowed.

"I'm… not sure what you want me to say," he said at last, holding her gaze for a moment before looking down at an empty area of the countertop.

"What do _you_ want to say?" she asked, and the butterflies were back again. _What are you _doing_, Kate?_

He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. "I just want you to enjoy your vacation here, Ka–… Beckett. That's the truth. You work crazy hours, and the job takes a lot out of you. I still can't believe you agreed to come, and now that I've – _we've_ – got you here, I just want you to be comfortable."

"I am," she said simply, then she took a half-step closer to him. There was now only three feet or so between them. "Are you?"

He closed his eyes briefly, then looked straight at her. "I'm really glad you're here," he said earnestly, and he was relieved to see a small smile appear on her face.

"And I'm glad to hear that," she said after a long moment. "Because for a little while there, I wasn't sure."

She saw a hint of a flush appear in his cheeks, and she suddenly became aware that their conversation was a kind of dance.

_Maybe this vacation was a really bad idea_, her mind whispered. _And maybe it was a really good one_, she countered.

Castle bowed his head slightly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I'm just trying to do the right thing," he said, in a small voice. He looked up at her again, and his smile had a trace of sadness to it.

She instinctively took another half step. _No Gina, and no Meredith_, she thought, her pulse quickening.

"Because that's what you do," she said. It wasn't a question, and he tilted his head to one side in acknowledgement, his expression showing that he wasn't entirely sure what she meant.

"Sometimes," he said. She was close enough that he could smell her perfume, and in the fading light of early evening coming in through the windows, her eyes were dark brown pools.

"More like… always," she replied.

They looked at each other for several long, silent moments. The ticking of the clock on the wall was suddenly very loud.

Alexis watched them from the doorway.

Castle opened his mouth to speak, and at the same moment Beckett's instincts told her that they weren't alone. She glanced across the room, seeing Alexis standing there. A silent message passed back and forth between the two women in a fraction of a second.

"Hey pumpkin," Castle said after he had followed Beckett's gaze, and she thought that he sounded a little relieved, for some reason. "Hungry?"

Alexis nodded, stepping into the room with another apologetic look towards Beckett, who smiled at her.

"Then let's get this show on the road," he said, pressing a panel to ignite the biggest ring on the stove, then reaching for the large brass pan he'd taken down earlier.

Alexis wandered over to another section of the counter and pulled open a drawer, lifting out three sets of cutlery.

She glanced over her shoulder, and noticed that Beckett was looking at her father as he began to cook their meal. The woman's expression was unreadable.


	7. Chapter 7

The lights in the living room were dimmed, but the room was well-lit by the 50-inch TV screen mounted on one wall.

Beckett, Castle and Alexis were all seated along the same length of couch, facing the TV, which was currently showing the movie _You've Got Mail_.

Castle's choice had been _Back to the Future Part 2_, but he was outvoted by Beckett and Alexis as soon as the girl saw that the Tom Hanks movie was available. Castle pretended to grump about it, but secretly he was enjoying himself.

A large fruit-bowl of popcorn, now almost empty, sat on the low coffee table in front of their knees, and both Castle and Beckett were on their second glasses of white wine. Alexis, who was sitting at the far left side of the couch, was holding a tall glass of ginger beer.

Castle lounged comfortably in his place in the middle of the couch, alternating between watching the movie and playing with his phone. Beckett was on his right-hand side, with her legs curled up beneath her. There was a foot or so of space between them, and she periodically glanced over at him.

"Weather's gonna be great tomorrow," he said, swiping at his phone's screen.

"Pool day?" Alexis asked excitedly, and he nodded.

"Looks like it."

Alexis looked over at Beckett. "Did you bring swimming stuff?"

Beckett smiled and nodded, and the girl grinned and then turned her attention back to the movie.

Castle had glanced around at Beckett when Alexis spoke, and his eyes glittered in the dim light. Beckett knew very well what he was thinking, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

A small grin appeared on his face, then he looked away.

Alexis got up fifteen minutes later to use the bathroom, and once she was out of the room, Beckett glanced around at him again. He was paying attention to the movie, or at least pretending to. She turned her head to face the screen again.

"Purple," she said.

Castle frowned, looking around at her. "Purple?"

"My bikini," she replied, keeping her eyes on the TV. "For the pool tomorrow."

There was a moment of silence, then she heard the back of his head connect with the leather head-rest running along the top of the couch. She grinned and looked around at him, seeing that he had collapsed fully back into the couch, eyes facing the ceiling but squeezed tightly shut.

"That's just… that's evil," he muttered, and she laughed.

"And it's _particularly_ evil," he said, lifting his head and looking around at her, "because it happens to be my favourite colour."

She raised her eyebrows. "I didn't know that." _Castle likes purple._

His eyes narrowed for a moment. "Is your bikini _really_ purple?"

"Yep," she said, folding her arms and turning once again to look at the TV.

"Intriguing," he replied.

There was half a minute or so of silence before he spoke again, in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry about before," he said, and she sighed and twisted around to fully face him.

"Castle, _please_ forget about it," she said earnestly. "It was none of my business anyway. Your ex-wives are a big part of your life, and you should feel free to talk about them."

He considered her statement for a moment, before slowly meeting her eyes again. "They're part of my past," he said.

_This is probably just as stupid a move_, he thought, but the words were out there now.

She dropped her gaze for a moment, then looked up again, made brave by the wine. He was still looking at her. There was no smirk or his face, and no innuendo in his voice. He wasn't flirting. His face was calm and open, with nothing hidden.

_Well, Kate, you've come all this way already_, she thought to herself.

"Castle, I–"

Alexis bounded back into the room, and they both looked around at her.

"What's been going on?" the girl asked, glancing from one to the other.

Castle and Beckett exchanged a look, and Beckett's cheeks flushed.

"Uh… with what?" Castle asked, and Alexis frowned.

"The _movie_," she said slowly, as if she was speaking to a small child, and she rolled her eyes at her father as she sat back down in her spot on the couch.

"Oh, yeah," Castle said. "Uh… well, they were gonna meet, and Tom Hanks saw that she was Meg Ryan, and he was kind of a jackass about it, and didn't tell her that he's the guy that's been emailing her," Castle said, drawing a very amused look from Beckett.

_Seen this one before, huh_, she thought, filing that piece of information away for future reference.

"Men," Alexis said haughtily, grabbing another handful of popcorn, and Castle smirked.

A couple of minutes later, Beckett's cellphone chirped from her pocket, and she hurriedly retrieved it.

The notification along the middle of the screen said _Lanie_, and she unlocked the device to read the message.

_**How's the vacation going?**_

Castle was looking at her with a worried expression, and she gave him a small smile. "It's just Lanie, checking up on me," she said. "I should probably go call her."

He nodded. "You want us to pause the movie?"

"Oh, no, you two keep going," she replied. "I won't be long."

"Say hi from me," he said, and she quirked an eyebrow at him as she left the room.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey girl<em>," came Lanie's voice over the line, and Beckett again looked across her bedroom, ensuring the door was firmly closed.

"Hey," she replied. "How's things?"

"_Things are the same as always. But I didn't call to talk about me. What's the latest at Casa Castle?_"

"Things are… great. It's a beautiful house. I'm having a great time."

"_Mm-hmm. That's two 'greats' already. What's bugging you?_"

Beckett sighed. "It really _is_ great here," she said. "I haven't thought about work all day. They've made me feel welcome. Alexis is such an amazing kid."

"_And what about her dad?_"

_Typical Lanie, cutting to the chase_, Beckett thought.

"I… ugh. I think we kind of had a moment earlier."

"_Now that's more like it. Do tell._"

Beckett explained what had taken place between her and Castle, and Lanie was silent for a few seconds before replying.

"_What were you gonna say before Alexis came back and asked about the movie?_"

"I… I'm not totally sure."

"_That's a lie, and you know it. He said that his ex-wives were part of his past. That's a pretty big opener._"

Beckett glanced at the bedroom door again, and she knew that her friend was right.

When she didn't immediately respond, she heard Lanie sigh in exasperation.

"_Girl, you keep telling me you're not interested in him, and you keep acting like you are. You get antsy when there's some other woman in his life. You talk about him all the time. You're _on vacation_ with him and his daughter! And now you're having moments. Even if you can't tell anybody else the truth, you should at least figure out what it is for yourself._"

There was a brief moment of silence before Beckett spoke.

"You're right. I know you're right."

"_Gina and – what's Alexis's mom called, again?_"

"Meredith," Beckett replied, unable to keep a note of distaste from her voice.

"_Are both gone,_" Lanie continued. "_You know it, and he just made damn sure you understand it. But you're there, in his house, with him and his daughter. He asked you, and you said yes. You can call it whatever you want, but don't you dare pretend that doesn't mean something._"

Beckett closed her eyes. "What am I supposed to do, Lanie?" she asked, in a small voice.

"_Oh honey, you already know the answer to that one. Follow your heart._"

This time, the silence lasted for almost ten long seconds before Beckett spoke again.

"But what if-"

"_Oh hush,_" Lanie interrupted. "_Nobody can see the future. You know what's already happened, and you don't know what's coming. The only thing left is right now._"

"I don't know if I could handle losing him – what we have now – if it didn't work out," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"_I know. But that's a stupid reason to run away from the chance you could have something more. And Kate, you know as well as I do how he feels about you. That man would climb a mountain for you. Then if you liked the mountain, he'd buy it and name it after you._"

Beckett laughed out loud, allowing herself to fall back onto the bed.

"I love you, y'know," she said fondly, and she heard Lanie laugh down the line.

"_I do know, and I deserve it. I love you too. Now what are you gonna do about this thing?_"

Beckett sighed once more, flexing her toes. "I guess I'll… play it by ear. See what happens."

Lanie tutted down the line.

"And _maybe_ think about… trying to talk to him about all this."

"_For this stuff, talking is overrated. He's the one who's good with words. I'd try a different approach._"

"Well I'll take that under advisement," she said, grinning. "And I should probably get back downstairs."

"_You do that,_" Lanie replied. "_You know you can call me with juicy details anytime, right?_"

"Goodnight, Lanie!"

"_Sweet dreams,_" her friend replied, and the line went dead.

Beckett lay motionless for a minute before dragging herself off the bed and putting her phone on the night table. Castle had left a spare iPhone cable there, already plugged into the wall socket, and she smiled and connected her phone to it, hearing the chime that indicating it was now charging.

After a moment's further contemplation, she crossed the room and opened the door, then headed along the corridor that led to the stairs.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's note: I'm deliberately taking this slowly, even though that's surprisingly difficult to do. I think it's interesting to have the various different forces at work: Beckett's uncertainty, Castle's conflicted honourable intentions for the vacation warring against the fact that he's in love with her, and of course Alexis's desire to see the two of them finally admit to their feelings and get together.<strong>_

_**It's also fun to play with the idea that Alexis is rooting for them, but she's also unintentionally a sort of chaperone - and she keeps interrupting them too. It wouldn't be Castle and Beckett if there weren't some frustrations along the way.**_

_**The pace is slow, but I prefer to focus on the details of interactions between people. There's a lot that can be said without dialogue, and it's often the most important stuff.**_

_**How's it going so far?**_


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm going to bed," Alexis said through a yawn, arching her back and stretching like a cat.

"You slept all afternoon," Castle said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Well, sleeping makes me tired," she replied, and he grinned.

She got up from the couch, stretched again, and crossed the few steps to where her father was sitting, leaning down to hug him.

"Sweet dreams, pumpkin," Castle said, folding an arm around her. "Love you."

"Love you too, dad," she replied, with a smile.

Alexis turned to Beckett, and hesitated for only a moment before embracing the other woman too. "Goodnight, Kate," she said. "It's great having you here."

Beckett smiled in surprise and delight as she wrapped her arms around the girl. "Night, honey," she said.

Castle was watching the two of them, and Beckett saw his smile widen at her words.

Alexis stood back up and beamed at her, then smiled again at her father before leaving the room.

A few moments passed before Beckett spoke, in a quiet voice.

"She's amazing," she said, and Castle nodded with pride.

"She is," he replied fondly. "Every family gets one super-awesome person, and she's definitely it for the Castle clan."

Beckett grinned at him. "I dunno, Castle, you're not _that_ bad yourself."

His eyebrows lifted slightly. "I'm gonna quote you on that. But I'm not Alexis-league."

"True," she replied, still smiling.

There was a comfortable silence for a few seconds before he tilted his head in her direction without actually looking at her. "Obviously the Becketts got more than their fair share."

"Good save," she replied, throwing a glance in his direction, and she saw him grin.

"Do you want another drink?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"I'm good for now."

Castle reached for his glass and finished off the wine, setting it back down carefully on a coaster.

"I can see why you like it here," Beckett said, and he turned in his seat to face her, putting his arm along the back of the couch. His hand was still a safe distance from her shoulder, but her eyes flicked momentarily towards it.

"It's a great house," he said simply. "We've had a lot of good times here. I'm glad you're finally getting to see it."

"People in your family keep telling me that today," she replied, her eyes glinting in the soft light of the lamps Castle had switched on after the movie finished.

He smiled and shrugged. "You've got a lot of fans around here."

It looked he was going to say something else, but he decided against it. They smiled at each other for a long moment, and Castle was the first to break eye contact.

_Still giving me my space_, she thought. _You're the only guy I've ever met who pushes _less_ when we're finally alone together._

She adjusted her position on the couch, moving ever so slightly closer to him.

"I thought about this place a lot last Summer," she said quietly, and he immediately looked up at her again, with surprise written all over his face.

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm. I wondered what the house looked like, what kind of stuff you did with Alexis while you're here, and that kind of thing. I even wondered if you had another set of those lightsabers someplace."

He smiled. "Nope, just the set in the loft."

She smiled, then took a deep breath.

"So what's the deal here?" she asked.

He frowned, unsure what she meant. She held up a hand and continued speaking.

"You invited me here, again, and this time I said yes. Last time there were… other people involved. But not now."

"Beckett, if I've done anything to make you uncomfortable–" he began, but she cut him off.

"You haven't," she said. "I'm enjoying my vacation with you and Alexis."

"So…?"

"So I'm wondering why you're behaving differently towards me here than when we're in the city."

He wracked his memory trying to find an instance of even one over-the-line flirtatious remark, but he couldn't think of any. Then it dawned on him, and his eyebrows shot up.

"You're asking me why I'm _not_… uh…"

"Flirting with me? Yeah. I'm asking."

He blinked twice, thrown off-guard by her statement.

"Well… I want you to be able to relax here, I guess. I'm trying to be on my best behaviour." He offered a weak smile, and she just raised an eyebrow.

"I'm relaxed, Castle," she said, not breaking eye contact. "You're the one who seems a little uptight. You don't need to be."

He sighed and nodded, then finally a small grin appeared on his face.

"Are you _asking_ me to flirt with you, detective?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes, ignoring the question.

"I told you I'm not here as a detective," she said. "You could start by calling me Kate."

His grin faded into a small, surprised smile. He looked at her for a long moment before speaking. "That's really what you want?"

This time, she was the one to look away for a moment, then she nodded her head as if she'd come to a decision. "I want _normal_," she said.

He quirked an eyebrow as she suddenly stood up and took a couple of steps away from the couch, then turned to look at him.

"You've never asked me to call you Kate before," he said quietly. "I'm not sure what normal means for us."

His eyes were unguarded and she could see a whirlwind of emotions glinting across the surface. Several seconds passed as they just looked at each other.

"Being with you is normal," she said. Her tone was thoughtful, as if she was only just realising it herself.

His jaw worked silently, as he considered the possible layers of meaning.

"Goodnight," she said softly, then she turned and padded away.

"Goodnight, …Kate," he said at last, but his only audience was the empty room.


	9. Chapter 9

Castle was already busy in the kitchen by the time Beckett came down the stairs, closely followed by Alexis.

"Does he always get up early?" Beckett asked the girl as they walked along the downstairs hall, and Alexis nodded.

"He thinks it's his job to make my breakfast, even now."

"That's kind of sweet, actually."

Alexis grinned. "He's a sweet man."

They entered the kitchen side by side, and Castle glanced around briefly then did a double-take. Beckett was wearing shorts and a halter top, and was barefoot. She smirked at his wide-eyed expression.

"Uh… hi. And g'morning, pumpkin," he said at last, staring for another moment before turning back to the breakfast preparations.

Beckett winked at Alexis, then quipped "I don't remember saying you could call me 'pumpkin', Castle."

He promptly dropped a ladle into the frying pan, and Alexis giggled.

_It's going to be a long day_, he thought retrieving the ladle then turning slowly to once again look at the two women.

"Good morning, _Kate_," he said pointedly, and he was pleased to see a smile flash across her face.

Alexis looked from Beckett to her father and back again, and then averted her eyes. _Way to go, dad, finally,_ she thought.

"And you're right, I am indeed a sweet man, with very good hearing," he added. "Now where's my morning hug?"

Beckett raised her eyebrows, and Castle glared at her before nodding towards Alexis. The girl crossed quickly to where he stood and put her arms around his waist, and he engulfed her in a bear hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Did I ever tell you…" he began, deliberately trailing off, and Alexis pulled back just enough to grin up at him.

"That you love me?"

Castle's eyes widened in mock astonishment, and he looked over at Beckett, stage-whispering "_She can read our _minds_!_"

Beckett smiled softly, and Castle's eyes roamed over her face for a long moment before he once again looked down at his smiling daughter.

"You might have mentioned it once or twice," Alexis said, and Castle nodded solemnly.

"Good. Wouldn't want you to forget," he said.

He squeezed the girl to his chest once more and then released her, and turned away to continue preparing breakfast.

Beckett watched the whole exchange in silence, her pulse thumping.

She saw him for all that he was.

_What have I been hiding from?_

A small smile appeared on her lips, and she slowly walked over to where he was working. Alexis had gone over to the large fridge to search for the eggs, bacon and orange juice, and after a moment she set the items down on the counter near her father.

"I'm going to get the newspaper," she said, and then left the room.

"Hi," Beckett said, and Castle smiled at her.

"Hey. Sleep well?"

"Mmm. Really comfortable bed."

"Only the best," he said, with a grin.

"…for your family?" she suggested, and he tilted his head in acknowledgement before glancing around at her.

"For the women in my life that I care about," he replied, holding her gaze for a moment longer than strictly necessary.

Her stomach flip-flopped, but she didn't look away. "Anyone I should know about?"

He grinned. _Fishing, detective?_

"I can tell you that there are three of them, so I'm hopelessly outnumbered" he said. "Number 1 is getting the newspaper right now."

Beckett grinned. "And number 2 is teaching an acting class in the city."

He raised an eyebrow, and waited several seconds before replying. "That would be number 3, actually."

She felt heat rush into her cheeks, and she put a hand on the countertop to steady herself. They searched each other's eyes for a long moment. She had no idea how to respond, but she felt the need to say something.

"Castle, I–"

"Would it kill you to call me Rick?" he asked suddenly, turning to fully face her. He saw the look of apprehension appear on her face, and he sighed softly. "I'm not trying to push."

He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words.

"I've always called you _Beckett_, but… I've thought of you as Kate for a long time."

His eyes were earnest and filled with meaning, and she felt her heart rate increase again. He gave her a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, then he looked way, through the large window and towards the sea, and shook his head.

"Sorry. Forget I said that, OK?"

"I don't think I want to," she said softly, and he glanced around at her again in surprise. His gaze roamed across her face for several long moments, then he spoke.

"It's not about what you call me. _Castle_ will do just fine. OK?"

She nodded cautiously, and he smiled that slightly sad smile again.

"I'm waiting for the day when you _see_ me as Rick," he said gently, and then he immediately turned away and switched the stove on, just as Alexis walked back into the room clutching a bundle of several newspapers.

_Oh god,_ Beckett thought, and she busied herself with finding plates and mugs so she could hide her flushed cheeks.

* * *

><p>By 10:30 it was already very warm outside, with the sun blazing down from a vividly blue and cloudless sky.<p>

Beckett and Alexis were already lying out around the pool, since Castle insisted on tidying up after breakfast.

"The weather is incredible here," Beckett said, and Alexis looked up from her book and smiled.

"It'd be horrible in the city, but it's perfect for a vacation," she replied.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps, and both women glanced around to see Castle. He was wearing swimming shorts, sandals, and a loud Hawaiian shirt. He was carrying a pair of sunglasses and a Kindle.

"I had you pegged as more of a hardback guy," Beckett said, and Castle shrugged at her.

"Try carrying ten hardbacks around," he said, and Beckett tilted her head to acknowledge the point. She also didn't miss the way his gaze wandered appreciatively down her body, and she allowed herself a small grin.

He put the Kindle down, kicked off his sandals and slipped the sunglasses on, raising his arms to the sky.

"Now this is more like it," he said, basking in the heat and sunlight. "Anyone up for a swim?"

Alexis shook her head without looking up from her book, so he turned to Beckett.

"Uh, I think I'll give it a while," she said, and he nodded.

"Suit yourself."

He reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, then shrugged it off.

_Oh_, Beckett thought, her lips parting in surprise.

She had always known he had broad shoulders and a big build, but she_ didn't_ know that he found time to work out regularly, which he obviously did. His arms, chest and abdomen were toned, and as he strode towards the edge of the pool, she could see the strength he carried in his body.

Castle stood at the poolside for a moment, stretching his neck, then dived smoothly into the water, disappearing beneath its blue surface for several seconds before surfacing and going straight into a front-crawl along the length of the pool.

"He has a gym upstairs in one of the spare rooms in the loft, and one in the garage here," Alexis said, and Beckett's head whipped around to meet the girl's amused eyes.

She gave Alexis a weak smile, blushing furiously, then buried her face in her book.


	10. Chapter 10

Castle was still in the pool half an hour later, alternating between swimming leisurely lengths, and floating on his back. Beckett had been stealing the occasional glance at him, using her own sunglasses for cover.

Alexis put her book down and stood up, taking off her sun hat and placing it on the lounger. "I'm going for a swim," she said, and Beckett nodded.

The girl walked to the shallow end of the pool, dipping her toes gingerly into the water and then smiling in relief at its comfortable temperature before walking forward until she was waist-deep.

"A victim!" Castle exclaimed, from the other end of the pool. He submerged himself, leaving only one hand sticking out above the water, his palm imitating a shark's dorsal fin. Beckett grinned despite herself, and Alexis rolled her eyes.

Castle approached his daughter as Beckett watched, then he surfaced a couple of meters from her, holding both palms up. He glanced over at Beckett.

"I learned a few years ago _never_ to get her hair wet unless she said it was OK."

Beckett grinned again. "Smart man," she said.

Castle flicked some water at Alexis, and she stuck her tongue out at him, then he threw himself backwards and went into a backstroke towards the deeper end of the pool.

Beckett watched from her own sun lounger. The water looked inviting. She felt her stomach flutter with nervousness, but she knew that she had to get into the water sometime. _I'm here for two weeks. Might as well get comfortable_.

She set her book down, then stripped off her halter top and folded it before setting it down too. She purposely didn't look towards the pool. She stood up, slipping off her shorts and laying them on the end of her sun lounger, then she walked towards the shallow end of the pool.

Castle was floating on his back again at the deep end, and he momentarily lost buoyancy as all his breath left him in one gasp. Her bikini was indeed a rich purple, and her body was lithe and athletic, her hair gathered up in a loose ponytail that bobbed as she walked. The sight of her was hypnotic. She moved with effortless grace, and his eyes traced every curve of her. He wanted her desperately.

He scooped a handful of water from the pool's surface and slapped it across his eyes, then repeated the motion twice more.

_Kill me now_, he thought.

Beckett could feel his eyes on her, as if his gaze left a trail of heat that rivalled the midday sun above. Despite the temperature, she felt a shiver chase up her spine, and she was glad when her toes dipped into the pleasantly lukewarm water.

She waded further into the pool until the water rose above her navel, then chanced a glance towards the opposite end of the pool. Castle was treading water against the rear wall, his eyes fixed on her.

She held his gaze for a moment, then turned away. She saw that Alexis was studiously ignoring both of them, treading water on the opposite side of the pool.

After another moment's thought, Beckett lifted her feet from the bottom and swam quickly to the deep end, turning immediately to return to where she entered the pool. She continued for another couple of lengths, then came to a stop only six feet or so from where Castle was still watching her.

"_Duuum-dum_," he hummed, clearly imitating the _Jaws_ theme, and she raised an eyebrow as she turned to look at him.

"Don't even think about it," she said.

He pouted for a moment, then shrugged, and they looked at each other for several seconds.

"So you weren't kidding," he said at last. She just looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Purple," he clarified, and she rolled her eyes.

"Told you," she replied. "It's really your favourite colour?"

"Absolutely. Colour of royalty, and magic. And it looks amazing on beautiful brunettes."

She felt very exposed despite the cover of the water, but she didn't move away. His expression was earnest, not leering, and she didn't break eye contact with him.

After a few seconds had passed, his brow furrowed. _This is new_, he thought. Normally she'd either roll her eyes, turn away, or make a sarcastic remark. But she was just looking at him, her brown eyes reflected in the water an inch or two below her chin.

"Was that a compliment?" she asked, her voice quiet enough that only he could hear her.

He simply nodded. "Yes, it was."

She gave him a small smile.

He returned the smile. "Is that… OK?" he asked, and they both knew what he meant.

Her eyes traced the line of his jaw and his along his shoulders before meeting his gaze again. "It's OK," she replied.

His eyebrows lifted slightly, but he didn't say anything.

There was a splash from the other end of the pool and they both glanced around to see Alexis climbing out and returning to her sun lounger to get a towel. After she had dried herself off, she looked over towards them.

"I'm getting something to drink. Anybody want anything? There's iced tea."

"Sounds good," Castle said, and Beckett also nodded and smiled at the girl. Alexis disappeared into the house, leaving the two of them alone.

There was a slightly awkward silence for a moment, then they both spoke at once.

"Kate–"

"Listen, I–"

Castle motioned at her to go first, and she frowned. "Can we move back down a little first? I want to put my feet down," she said, and he shrugged then surged away from the rear wall of the pool, covering half its length towards the shallow end in a couple of seconds. Beckett caught up with him after a few moments, letting her feet settle on the bottom of the pool as they both stood.

The water here was at mid-chest height for her, and lapped around his waist. Her gaze trailed quickly down his torso before she forced herself to look up at his face again, just in time to notice that he was also admiring her. He cleared his throat, and made a show of rotating his left shoulder as if he had a muscle cramp.

"So… you were gonna say?" he said, and she took a deep breath.

"I was going to say… I really appreciate you inviting me here. I'm having a great time," she said, and he blinked.

"Oh," he replied. "Well… you're welcome. You know that."

She gave a brief, distracted smile, then she sighed. "Damn it," she muttered, and his eyebrows shot up.

"OK, that _wasn't_ what I was going to say," she said. "Not that it isn't true, though."

He nodded cautiously, not sure what to say. She sighed again, absent-mindedly trailing her fingers through the water, creating overlapping ripples whose edges shone silver-blue in the glare of the sun high overhead.

"What you said this morning, in the kitchen…" she began, trailing off as she saw his jaw tighten. "I guess I… I know you've been… waiting."

He looked at her with no expression at all on his face. She could see the rise and fall of his chest in her peripheral vision, and she knew that he was steeling himself for whatever she was about to say.

"I'm sorry," she said at last. Her gaze flicked away and then back, just in time to see the light fade from his eyes, changing from blue into stormy grey.

"Wait, that's not what I mean," she said quickly, taking a step towards him in the water. "I mean, I've… made you wait. I've been denying this– this whatever it is that's going on here." She gestured vaguely between the two of them.

Castle tilted his head, a single crease running across his brow. _What are you saying, Kate?_

She sighed loudly. "This isn't coming out right."

He gave her a small smile. "It's OK," he said. "You're not making a lot of sense, but just take your time."

She nodded, feeling a flush rising in her cheeks. "I guess what I'm saying is, I wouldn't have agreed to come here if I didn't think there was… something. I don't know what this means for work, or anything else. But…"

Castle's pulse was hammering in his chest now, and it took every ounce of self-control to not let his emotions show on his face. He almost winced, waiting to see what her next words would be.

"… I think, maybe while we're here, away from the precinct and the city, and we're just _us_, we could just… see," she said, grimacing inwardly at how lame the words sounded.

"See," Castle repeated, cautiously, and she nodded slowly.

"_See,_ as in–?" he began, and she blinked twice, taking another breath.

"I mean… see how we are, like this. See what it's like. If it's weird. Or whatever," she said. "And I need to take this slow. Hell, I don't even know what I mean by _this_ yet."

Castle took several measured breaths, contemplating her, then he glanced down at the water's surface before looking up at her.

"Kate, I have no idea what you're talking about," he said gently, then he held his hands up in a placating gesture as he saw a look of annoyance pass across her face. "_But_, I really, really want to understand. So please, humour me."

Her stomach was twisting with nerves, and she knew she wasn't being very clear. She also knew that Alexis would probably be back any minute, and that they were standing in a pool in their swimwear. She almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, but instead she took a deep breath.

"I'm saying that while we're here, let's see if we can just be Kate and… Rick."

She watched the emotions fly across his face, one after another. Shock. Disbelief. Hope. Doubt. Hope again. Vulnerability.

She took another step towards him in the water, eliminating all but a foot or so of distance between them.

His eyes were roaming rapidly over her face, and she could see that he desperately wanted to believe it, but he was holding himself back too. _From being hurt_, she realised. _And to give me a way out_. She felt a huge wave of affection for this man, and in that moment she wondered what she'd been thinking for all of these months and years that she'd kept him at arm's length.

"I'm ready to try," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm here. OK?"

Castle looked at her, his mind wrestling with her words. All the background noise of the waves and the breeze had disappeared, replaced with a whine like the sound of utter silence. His pulse pounded through his veins.

_What changed? _he thought. _Is this happening?_

"Kate," he said, and his voice wavered even on the single syllable. Her hand automatically came up and reached towards him, and he lifted a hand to catch it. He looked down at her hand in his, fascinated by the sight of it.

She watched his face, seeing his brow furrow as his throat worked silently. She knew that his mind was spinning, desperately trying to accommodate this change that he'd sought for years. She tentatively squeezed his fingers, her own pulse pounding in her ears.

She felt a stab of guilt at seeing him reduced to silence and a struggle to control his emotions.

"Why?" he asked at last.

"Because… there are a lot of reasons," she said. "But mostly, because you're… you. You're annoying, and you're really sweet sometimes. You're an overgrown kid, and a wonderful father. You love your daughter _so much_, I swear I could cry sometimes."

He smiled at last, and she returned the smile as she continued.

"You make up crazy theories about zombies and ninjas, and you're a pretty damned good detective. You know how I take my coffee. You're there for me, whether I let you or not. I guess I just realised you're a huge part of my life, and… I can't remember anymore what it was like before you were there. I don't want to remember."

His gaze dropped again to her hand clasping his. "I thought… I'd _started_ to think… that you were never going to…"

Beckett closed her eyes, shutting out the look of quiet, stunned disbelief on his face. _The writer doesn't know what to say, and it's my fault_, she thought. She was suddenly close to tears. She forced herself to look at him again.

"We have to take this slow, because I can't lose what we already have," she said. "I _can't_. Can you understand that?"

He nodded, and then met her gaze. "Me either."

Somehow, despite his height, despite his broad shoulders and powerful frame, he looked fragile standing there.

"But I want to try," she said. "I want us to try."

He nodded again slowly, his blue eyes searching her brown ones. His feelings for her were laid bare.

_It's going to take some time before you really believe me_, she realised. A brief image flitted through her mind, of all the times she had looked up from her desk to find him gazing at her with the ghost of a warm smile on his lips, or the times he'd lean in too close to her when they were reviewing case files, or stand just a little too near her in an elevator, or all of the hundreds and hundreds of times he'd walked into the precinct carrying her coffee, or the times he'd leapt into the path of danger, unarmed and untrained, because she was there–

She blinked away the moisture in her eyes, feeling like a heavy band was constricting her chest. Finally opening her eyes to how this man felt about her was a double-edged sword.

_But you're still here_, she thought.

She lifted her other hand, intending to reach up towards his face, when the sudden clink of ice cubes and glasses startled them both, causing her to drop his hand.

"Here we go," Alexis said brightly, not looking at them as she concentrated on keeping the drinks tray level as she walked towards the sun loungers.

Beckett glanced at the girl and then looked at Castle again. He was looking at her with a slightly dazed expression, then he blinked in an effort to refocus his mind. He looked over towards Alexis, who was lifting tall glasses of iced tea from a blue plastic tray, with her back to the pool.

"Be right there, pumpkin," he called across to her.

He gave Beckett another long look, then he took a deep breath and they both began walking towards the shallow end of the pool.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's note: Two chapters in one day - I must be feeling generous. I'm still taking it slowly, but they're at least moving forward now.**_

* * *

><p>Beckett glanced up from her book, and saw that Castle was looking at her from his own sun lounger. His eyes were partially hidden behind his sunglasses, but she always knew when he was watching her.<p>

She gave him a small smile, and he returned it.

Alexis had been dozing for half an hour or so, a wide-brimmed hat obscuring her face, and now she yawned loudly and started to sit up.

"Looks like the lunch alarm went off," Castle said, and Alexis took her sunglasses off, looking over at him innocently.

"Lunch _does_ sound good," she said sweetly, and Beckett grinned.

Castle harrumphed good-naturedly, then got up and slipped his feet into his sandals. He slid the Kindle under a towel to protect it from the sun, then picked up his shirt and pulled it on, leaving it unbuttoned.

"I'll go get started," he said. "Be careful you don't burn, sweetheart," he said, and Alexis nodded at him.

"I'll help," Beckett said, pulling her halter top on then getting up and slipping quickly into her shorts.

Castle gestured towards the house. "After you," he said, and she stepped past him with a smile. He fell into step beside her, momentarily letting his hand graze the small of her back as they walked. Beckett glanced up at him for a moment, but didn't say anything.

Alexis watched the two of them, and her eyes widened at the physical contact. She felt an intense desire to follow them and continue to watch their interactions, but she decided it might be better to give them a few minutes alone. She gathered her clothes up slowly, looking towards the house every few moments, then forced herself to read a few more pages of her book.

Beckett was relieved to step into the dark, cool kitchen again. She took her sunglasses off and blinked to adjust to the sudden gloom.

Castle ran the cold tap for a few seconds and then filled two glasses with water, adding a few ice cubes from the dispenser on the door of the refrigerator.

"Here you go," he said, handing her a glass.

She gratefully took a long drink of cold water, then set the glass down on a countertop. "Thanks," she said.

"No problem," he replied, looking at her intently. After a couple of seconds, he grinned.

"So," she said.

"So," he replied.

She smiled uncertainly at him. "Are we making lunch?"

"In a minute," he said, folding his arms. He was still looking at her thoughtfully. "I guess I should say something about… what we talked about."

She shrugged. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to," he replied, seeing her take a deep breath. He smiled. "I want to do this, Kate. I've wanted this for a long time. I'm not gonna push. I know it'll take a while for you to be comfortable, so I'm going to let you set the pace. OK?"

She sighed in relief, and nodded twice. "Thank you. And…"

She paused, then took a couple of steps to close the distance between them, lifting a hand up and holding it just above the surface of his chest. She looked at her own hand in wonder, feeling the butterflies in her stomach. At last, she laid her hand against him, feeling his own pulse thumping under her fingers.

"And I really want this," she said. "I know _you_ need some time too."

"To believe it's really happening," he said quietly, and she nodded.

He brought his own hand up to cover hers, and she smiled; a a full, wide smile that made her eyes sparkle.

_Ouch_, Castle thought. It felt like an arrow had struck him in the chest. He laced his fingers through hers, clasping her hand tight against him.

He looked up at her with a question in his eyes – _Too much?_ – and she just squeezed his fingers with her own. Without warning, a surge of emotion hit him, and he blinked several times.

Beckett saw the moisture appear in his eyes, and felt tears prick the corners of hers.

"Rick," she whispered, gently pulling her hand from his and snaking her arms around his waist. She laid her head on his chest where her hand had been, and after a moment she felt his arms curl around her.

"I'm sorry," she said, then she felt him shake his head.

"Nothing to be sorry about," he said into her hair. She tightened her arms around his waist.

"I should have figured it out sooner," she said, her eyes closed against her anguish at what he was feeling. "You've been waiting for me for so long."

"No longer than I needed to," he said simply, then he inhaled deeply, letting the sweet smell of her hair fill his senses.

He pulled back slightly and looked down at her. His eyes were so full of gentleness that it almost broke her heart. "Kate, listen," he said, and she blinked away a tear. "I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy."

She swallowed hard, and then nodded.

"But if we're doing this now, I don't regret any of it."

"There's no 'if', Cas– _Rick_," she said, blushing at the slip. "Somehow I'm going to make you believe that."

He looked at her for a long moment, then his expression became grave.

"What is it?" she asked, feeling a flutter of dread rising up in her chest.

"Just…" he began, breaking off before looking her in the eyes again. "Just don't run away now. Even if it's not easy. Because I swear to god, that would…"

He didn't finish the sentence, and she knew it was because he didn't want to scare her off. She knew what he was going to say anyway. _That would kill me_.

_What have I done to you_? she thought. This multi-millionaire, bestselling novelist, one of New York City's most eligible men, a loving father, a devoted friend and partner… and she could so easily see the need in his eyes. He was telling her that she had the power to destroy him utterly.

_Because he's in love with me_.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said, her voice firm and even. She knew he desperately needed reassurance. There was an intensity in his eyes, and she wasn't sure yet where it came from. _You're afraid_, she thought, and she knew it wasn't about the idea of them being together. This wasn't the time to probe further, so she just stepped fully back into his arms and pressed her palms against his upper back.

"I need you to be comfortable, Kate," he said. "Don't do anything you don't want to do, on my account. I can keep waiting, now that I know there's a chance for…"

"Us," she said. "I know. And I'm very comfortable right now."

She felt him smile into the top of her head, and then he pressed a soft kiss against her scalp and sighed raggedly.

A powerful emotion burst through her. Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away.

They stood like that, perfectly still, for almost a minute, then she felt him lift his head from hers.

"As nice as this is, I think my daughter might resort to cannibalism soon," he said, and she laughed into his chest before reluctantly pulling away from him and taking a step back.

They looked at each other shyly. Both pairs of eyes were shining, and Beckett had a rosy flush in her cheeks.

"OK, lunchtime," she said, turning towards the refrigerator with a grin. "What are we making?"

* * *

><p>They were all back out around the pool by 2PM, and within 45 minutes a spirited game of water volleyball was taking place.<p>

Castle surfaced at the deep end of the pool and flicked water from his hair. "I still say that boys versus girls isn't fair!" he shouted, panting from having to constantly tread water as he played.

"Oh suck it up, dad," Alexis said, grinning from her position about two-thirds of the way towards the shallow end.

"Right, that does it," he replied, disappearing beneath the water again.

Beckett and Alexis watched as a long shadow streaked across the floor of the pool towards them, and a moment later Alexis squealed as her feet were swept from underneath her and she bobbed below the water briefly. She managed to regain her footing as Castle surfaced between the two of them.

"Oh sure, pick on _me_," Alexis said in mock annoyance, sweeping her wet hair off her face, and Castle grinned.

"Hey, _I_ wasn't teasing him," Beckett said, and Alexis pretended to glower at her for a moment.

"Hmm," Castle said, drawing himself up to his full height. Beckett couldn't help but watch the water stream from his shoulders and cascade down his body as he stood up.

"The heir to the Castle throne does have a point," he said, then he grinned. "Castle. Throne. I didn't even mean to do that."

Alexis rolled her eyes, and exchanged a look with Beckett.

"_No_," Beckett said warningly, taking a step away from him. Castle took a step forward, keeping the distance between them constant.

"No to what?" he said, taking another step towards her.

"To everything," she said, raising her hands slightly. "Especially whatever you're planning to do."

Alexis laughed, and the sound only spurred him on further.

"Oh come now, Kate," he said reasonably. "You're already _in_ the water."

"_Rick_…" she said, and Alexis's eyebrows shot up at hearing the detective use her father's first name.

Castle shrugged and began to turn away, then suddenly surged forward and picked her up in his arms before she could do anything but gasp.

She immediately clasped her arms tightly around his neck, hoping to prevent the inevitable dunking he had in mind.

Alexis took a step back, clasping her hands together and looking from one to the other, grinning from ear to ear.

"According to the ancient rules of the swimming pool, you leave me no choice," he said solemnly, turning to look towards his daughter, with his back to the deeper part of the pool.

He hesitated for barely half a second before bending his knees slightly and launching himself backwards through the air. Beckett squealed and squeezed her eyes shut, then they both hit the water with a huge splash and sank to the bottom of the pool.

She unfolded her arms from around his neck, then felt him lift her upwards, and they both broke through the water's surface.

"_Thank you_ for that," she said, swiping water from her eyes, and he grinned.

"Anytime," he said, throwing a wink in Alexis's direction.

"I think that's enough water for a while," Beckett said, wading towards the girl. "My book is calling me."

"Mine too," Alexis said, swimming towards a nearby ladder, and Castle huffed.

"Fine," he called to both of them, laying back in the water to float on the surface, "but this means I win. I'm the undisputed master of this pool. Lord of the deep, if you will."

Beckett fished the light plastic ball from the pool as she climbed out. "Enjoy your watery domain, your highness," she said playfully, and threw the ball underarm at him.

It landed within arm's reach, splashing his face, and he reached out to grab it. "Who dares disturb Poseidon?!" he exclaimed, raising the ball to throw it back, but Beckett pointed a slender finger at him from the poolside.

"_No_," she said, with a tight grin.

Castle gave an exaggerated sigh, dropped the ball, and folded his arms. After a moment, he let himself sink beneath the surface, blowing bubbles the whole way down.

"You should _always_ come on vacation with us!" Alexis said excitedly, after watching the interchange.

"Maybe I will," Beckett replied.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's note: Over two hundred reviews. Can't properly tell you what they mean to me. I'm glad you're getting at least some of the enjoyment from reading this as I'm getting from writing it.**_

* * *

><p>The enticing aroma of cooking meat filled the air. Castle stood at the large barbecue, keeping an eye on burgers, sausages and marinated chicken fillets on skewers with assorted vegetables.<p>

He hadn't seen Alexis and Beckett is almost two hours, after he'd been the first to go indoors for a shower. The coals needed time to get up to full heat before he could cook, so he'd told the two women they could take their time about getting changed for dinner. By the time he'd come out to start heating the barbecue, the pool area was deserted.

He was wearing simple grey slacks and a vivid blue shirt, untucked and with the sleeves rolled up. He was barefoot on the paving tiles around the barbecue area, and there was a barely-touched bottled of beer sitting on a low wall nearby.

There was a gazebo near the barbecue area, with a wooden slatted dining table and several chairs with brightly-coloured cushions strapped to them. He had set up an iPod and a portable speaker in the middle of the table, and he was nodding his head along to various soft rock classics. The sun was much lower in the sky, but it was still warm and there were at least a couple of hours of usable light left.

For the twentieth time this afternoon, he thought about his encounter with Beckett at lunchtime and he smiled.

He knew he had to tread carefully and give her plenty of time. He still felt dazed at the idea that she was finally willing to try being with him, whatever that might mean. He could easily conjure up the memory of how her hair had smelled when he held her in his arms just a few hours ago.

He sighed. _Do not, under any circumstances, screw this up._

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he fished it out. The notification banner said _Esposito_, and he raised an eyebrow. He swiped the banner then pressed his thumb to the Home button to unlock the device, and read the message.

_**How's the vacation? She killed you yet?**_

He grinned, and typed a quick reply.

_**Still alive. Great weather out here. I'm cooking at the BBQ right now.**_

He had told Ryan and Eposito that they'd be the first to know if anything happened between him and Beckett, but things had changed. The situation was fragile, and he wasn't going to ruin it by gossiping, even though he was dying to tell somebody.

_There isn't really anything to tell, yet,_ he rationalised, feeling just a twinge of guilt at keeping his two friends in the dark.

Another message arrived, scrolling smoothly onto the screen.

_**Tough life. Say hey to Beckett from us, and behave yourself.**_

He smirked and slipped the phone back into his pocket, then flipped a couple of burgers over before prodding at some coals in the grill tray.

Less than a minute later, he heard a patio door slide back, and then the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Something smells good," Alexis's voice said, and he slowly turned around with a quip ready. His words died on his lips when he saw them.

Alexis was wearing a pretty lavender print dress, with her hair swept into a ponytail. She had managed to avoid burning, which was no mean feat for a redhead, but her cheeks were peppered with freckles. She looked adorable, completely relaxed, and younger than her years.

It was Beckett who had temporarily paralysed his vocal cords, though. She wore a simple yellow sundress with matching lace around the shoulders, open-toed sandals with a moulded flower of some kind across the top, and her hair fell around her shoulders in loose curls. Streaks of gold shone through her brown locks, and her long eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she took in the sight of him.

"Oh wow," he said, not even aware that he'd spoken, and Alexis giggled. He tore his eyes away from Beckett for a moment to look at his daughter in bemusement, and then he cleared his throat.

"Uh, by which I mean, you both look _incredible_," he said, gesturing between the two of them with the set of tongs he was holding.

Beckett and Alexis exchanged a knowing look.

"Paying compliments _and_ making dinner – you've raised him well," Beckett said to the girl, and Alexis grinned.

"I'm house-trained and everything," Castle replied, and Beckett turned her head to look at him again.

She took a couple of steps towards him, not even attempting to hide the fact that she was looking him up and down. Her eyes lingered on the front of his shirt, which had three buttons open from the collar because of the warm weather.

She smiled slightly, then met his eyes again. "You don't look so bad yourself," she said. "I like you in blue shirts."

"I'd noticed," he said smugly. "Why do you think I wear them four out of five days at the precinct?"

They looked into each other's eyes for several seconds before Beckett glanced around at Alexis. The girl was standing a few feet away, watching the two of them intently with wide eyes.

Beckett briefly felt a twinge of worry about what the girl would think about the two of them… doing whatever they were doing, then she pushed it away. Alexis had been matchmaking all along, and she was also a mature and tactful young woman. Beckett smiled at her, and Alexis returned the smile.

"Maybe we should set the table, while the man cooks the meat over the fire," Beckett said, and the girl grinned and nodded.

They both wandered back towards the house, entering through the still-open patio door and crossing to the kitchen, where Alexis immediately began stacking plates, cups and cutlery onto a large tray, and Beckett busied herself preparing a bowl of mixed salad.

"Alexis," she said, without looking around, "about… your dad."

"I know," the girl replied, and now Beckett did turn around to look at her. "I mean, if you're… interested in him…"

"I am," Beckett replied with a soft smile, and Alexis nodded.

"Then I'm glad," she replied. "He's been waiting for you for a long time."

Beckett swallowed hard, momentarily lost for words at the girl's directness. There had been no accusation in the remark, just a simple truth.

"I know," she said at last, sighing. "And I'm not sure what took me so long to see it. I never meant to hurt him. You have to believe that."

"I do," Alexis replied, taking a step towards her. "Just… be sure, OK? Because I've seen what he's like when you two aren't getting along. If you let him hope for this, then it doesn't work out, I'm not sure what he'd do. I'm pretty sure he loves you."

Beckett was suddenly blinking away tears, swiping at her eyes frantically. _Oh god_, she thought. _Why do I keep forgetting that you're _his_ daughter in every way?_

"It's OK," Alexis said, taking Beckett's arm. "You're here, and you two are finally doing something about it. And I like you. You're good for him."

Beckett made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and she pulled Alexis into an embrace.

"_You_," she said warmly, in a slightly watery voice, "are the best daughter in the universe, and I'm going to remind him of that."

Alexis smiled bashfully and looked away. After a moment, Beckett dropped her arms and met Alexis's gaze again.

"I _am_ sure, you know," she said. "He doesn't believe it yet, and that's my fault. But I am. I think I've been sure for a long time, and I just never let myself admit it."

"He'll come around," Alexis replied. "He's just… protecting himself."

_Don't I know it_, Beckett thought.

"Then I guess I'll just have to get through to him," she said, and Alexis smiled widely at her.

"And we'd better get this stuff out to him before he comes looking for us," she said.

Beckett nodded, then gathered up the salad bowl, dressing bottles and serving utensils, and they both headed back outside.

* * *

><p>"Stuffed," Castle said, smiling in contentment as he leaned back in his chair under the gazebo, folding his hands behind his head.<p>

The barbecue was smouldering, and almost all of the food had been swiftly taken care of. Even the large salad bowl was empty except for a shallow puddle of dressing and a few stray leaves in the bottom.

Castle and Beckett sat on the same side of the table, their chairs close together and their elbows only inches from each other, with Alexis opposite them. The two adults were on their third glasses of wine, and even Alexis had been allowed a single glass, since they were on vacation. Hers was almost empty, and her eyes were sparkling more than usual.

Most of the daylight had faded, and the Sun was now only a brilliant orange semicircle, far out on the horizon. The air was still relatively warm, and Castle had silenced the iPod half an hour earlier, so the only soundtrack was the distant, gentle sound of breaking waves.

"Oh," he said, turning to Beckett and bringing his arms down to lie along the chair's armrests, "Esposito texted me earlier. Just checking in. Him and Ryan say hi."

She raised an eyebrow, and then nodded. "Did they say anything else?"

"They were looking for gossip," he replied, swirling the wine in his glass. He saw her eyes widen.

"Which I did not provide," he added.

She gave a small grin, seeing him examine her expression carefully. "Because there's nothing they need to know," she said, and he nodded.

Alexis watched them both without saying a word, cradling her wine glass.

After a moment, Beckett reached out and laid her hand over his, looking into his eyes briefly before picking up her wine glass with her other hand and taking a sip.

Castle slowly spread his hand and she instinctively interlaced her fingers with his, smiling without looking around at him.

Alexis grinned and looked down at the table's surface, and Castle smiled at the gesture.

"Pretty good vacation so far," he said, partly to himself. Both women looked up at him with small smiles on their faces.

"And we only just got here," Alexis said, drawing a nod of acknowledgement from her father. She drained the remaining liquid from her glass and set it down.

"Are you glad you decided to come along, Kate?" she asked, and Beckett looked up at her, holding back amusement at the girl's blatant steering of the discussion.

_You love your father as much as he loves you, and you want the best for him_, she thought, and again she felt a wave of deep affection for the girl.

"I really am," she replied, briefly smiling at Alexis before turning to look at Castle.

His blue eyes looked almost brown in the intimate glow of the few lamps around the poolside, but she could see his expression well enough. It was very familiar. He wore the same look when he brought her coffee in the morning, or when she arrived at the Old Haunt on a team night out. It was a look that made her feel like she was the only woman in the world that he wanted to see.

He said nothing, even though she knew there were a hundred replies, remarks and quips that he could have made. He just watched her, cataloguing every inch of her face for the thousandth time.

She gently lifted her hand from his, seeing his gaze flick down to where their contact had been lost, then she turned her hand over and slid it beneath his, again lacing their fingers together.

She brushed her thumb gently across the back of his hand, and when he met her eyes again, she smiled at him.


	13. Chapter 13

"And that was the _last_ time I went cycling with Alexis," Castle said, grimacing at his daughter, whose cheeks were a rosy pink. They had moved indoors a couple of hours earlier after a long discussion about some of Beckett and Castle's most memorable cases, and were relaxing in the living room. It was almost 11PM.

Beckett laughed, then gave the girl a sympathetic look. "Sorry. But you've got to admit it's a funny story," she said.

Alexis shrugged, unable to keep the grin from her face. "Maybe a little."

"Hey, James thought it was a _great_ story," Castle said, gesturing with his wine glass, and Alexis huffed.

"Stop telling James Patterson embarrassing things about me!"

"He talks about his son all the time," Castle replied. "I'm just giving as good as I get."

Alexis rolled her eyes and then stood up from her armchair, walking across to where her father sat. "Well I'm going to call it a night, before I do anything else that's worth telling people who might actually _write_ about it," she said, poking him hard in the ribs.

"Ow," he said, setting his wine glass down and grabbing her hand, then pulled her into a hug. "Goodnight, pumpkin."

"Night, dad," she said, still in a slightly accusatory tone, but her expression made it clear that she was just pretending to be annoyed.

Beckett was sitting next to Castle on the couch, and she stood up and folded her arms around Alexis. "Night, honey," she said, hugging her tightly for a moment before letting her arms fall.

"Night, Kate," Alexis replied, beaming at her, then she waved to Castle and left the room.

Beckett sat back down beside him and sighed contentedly.

"Looks like you two are getting on well," he said, and she nodded, curling her legs up beneath her and turning to face him.

"We are," she said warmly. "She's been really great. Made me feel welcome."

"Did she say anything about…?"

"You and me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Mm-hmm." She smirked, and a brief look of worry passed across his face. She let him stew for a few seconds before speaking again. Her smile faded slightly as she thought back to her conversation with Alexis earlier in the day.

"She was looking out for you. She said she was glad about… us. And she told me that I had to be sure, because she didn't want you to get hurt."

Castle nodded slowly, his eyes unfocused. She thought he might try to apologise on his daughter's behalf, unnecessarily, and she was ready to interrupt him and tell him that she knew Alexis was doing the right thing. But he only stared into the middle distance for several long moments, before turning to her again.

"Funny that my daughter can say the things I wanted to," he said quietly, with a slightly sad smile.

Beckett reached out took his hand, pulling it onto her lap. "And I said some things to her that I want to say to you too."

He linked his fingers with hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement, and she gave him a grateful look.

"I know you've been waiting for me," she said. "For a long time. And I know I've kept you waiting."

"Kate, you don't have to–"

"Yes, I do," she said gently but firmly. "I really do."

He just nodded, indicating that she should go on.

"I know this all seems sudden, and you're not sure whether it's… I don't know, just because we're on vacation, or something. It wasn't exactly something I planned either. But really it's _not _sudden."

She shifted slightly on the couch, watching his face carefully as she continued.

"I didn't know I was ready for… us, but I _was_, Rick. I _am_. I was scared to let myself see it, and I'm still a little scared, but I'm not going to run away."

Her expression was wide-eyed and earnest, and his heart went out to her.

"That means a lot to me," he said, with a warm smile.

She looked into his eyes for another few seconds before taking a deep breath.

"I told Alexis that I'm sure about us too," she said, "and that I didn't think you believed it yet."

He opened his mouth to reply, but she just squeezed his hand and moved slightly closer to him.

"I told her I knew it was my fault you had doubts."

His smile vanished, and he reached his other hand across and put it on top of hers, holding her hand between both of his.

"Kate, you can't blame yourself. You weren't ready. And I admit I pushed pretty hard, at least at the start. Maybe if _I'd_ been the one to–"

"No, Rick," she said softly, and he sighed. "And I'm not saying this to punish myself. Do you want to know what Alexis said?"

He crease of worry appeared on his brow for a moment, and then he nodded slowly.

"She said she liked me, and that she thinks I'm good for you."

A wide smile appeared on his face again, crinkling the corners of his eyes, and she felt a huge wave of warmth bloom in her chest at the sight of it.

"I agree with her on both counts," he said, and Beckett smiled back at him.

"She also said that if you weren't sure how serious I am about this, it's just because you're protecting yourself from getting hurt. She's a very smart young woman."

He sighed deeply and then nodded twice, with a small, bittersweet smile.

"I guess she's right about that too," he said at last, and Beckett nodded.

"I know she is. So I'll tell you what I told her: I'm going to do whatever it takes to show you."

She lifted her free hand to his face, cradling his cheek.

"I want this, Rick. We've taken a step here, in this house, and it was a lot easier than I thought it'd be. It feels like… like it always is with us. It just works. It doesn't feel strange because it _isn't_ strange. Because… I've wanted this for so long that I can't remember not wanting it."

His eyes were sparkling as he took in every detail of her face. He opened his mouth to speak, and then gave a small, self-conscious laugh. She raised her eyebrows and he shook his head bashfully.

"I was going to say something about hardly being able to believe this is actually happening," he said.

"Well believe it," she said, leaning in slightly closer and stroking his jawline gently with her fingertips. She saw his eyelids flutter, and felt a thrill chase through her that she could do that to him.

"Kate, I need to say some things too," he said. "I've probably rehearsed this about a million times, and now I can't remember a single damned word."

She grinned, letting her forefinger skirt around the shell of his ear, and he shivered.

"And _that_ isn't helping," he said, his eyes twinkling. "I want to tell you – _really_ tell you – how I feel about you. I've wanted to for a long time."

"You don't have to tell me anything," she said softly, her large, dark eyes holding his gaze completely captive. His chest heaved in an enormous sigh.

"But–"

"Rick," she said softly, her hand moving from his ear to slip into the hair at the nape of his neck. His pupils were dilated, and she could feel his pulse pounding against her wrist.

"Mm?" he said, unable to construct a more coherent reply. She was so close now that he could smell her hair and her perfume and the scent of her skin. His eyes flicked down to her lips for an instant and then back up.

"_Just show me_," she whispered.

There was a moment of utter stillness, and it seemed like even the clock on the mantelpiece paused between two ticks, holding time completely motionless.

Then she closed the remaining distance between them, he closed his eyes, and at last he felt her lips against his.


	14. Chapter 14

"If I wake up right now, I'm gonna be _so_ annoyed," Castle said, breathing a little more heavily than normal.

Beckett grinned at him, her cheeks flushed and her dark eyes glittering in the lamplight. Her lips were full and red, and slightly parted.

They were turned towards each other on the couch. Beckett's legs were curled beneath her and she had one palm pressed against his chest. He had an arm running along the back of the couch, with his hand stroking her shoulder. With his other hand, he tenderly tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, then let his finger trace reverently over her cheek.

She turned into his touch, not breaking eye contact.

"You kissed me," he said. His tone was almost contemplative.

"You kissed me back," she replied, drawing small, lazy circles against his shirt.

"Yeah," he grinned, pausing for a moment before continuing. "But _you_ kissed _me_. I always figured it'd be me who made the move. Then you'd slap me really hard across the face. This way is much better."

She grinned again briefly, then her smile faltered. "I haven't really been fair to you, have I?"

"Hey now," he said, immediately regretting his words, "none of that. What's important is right now. And… tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"And the next day. And the future," he said, wincing again at his choice of words. He didn't want to scare her off. He hurried to continue. "What I mean is, we're here now. You can still set the pace."

"I thought I just did," she said, slightly playfully, and he tilted his head in acknowledgement.

She sighed as she let her gaze roam over his face. She knew that he was treading carefully because of how much he wanted this, and how unfamiliar the territory was. _That's my fault_, she thought. _I've taught him to be uncertain_.

"Rick, listen," she said, sliding her hand up from his chest to run her fingertips over the hint of stubble that was already developing under his jaws.

"I'm listening," he said softly, smiling at her, and she nodded.

"I know why you're giving me the control here, but that's part of what I feel bad about. I always forced you to follow my lead."

"I've just been ready for longer," he said quietly. "I don't want to push you further than you're ready to go."

"Maybe I _want_ to be pushed now," she said. "Maybe we need to make up for lost time. I don't want you to hold back around me. I want to do this. I want to be with you."

He searched her eyes, and he found the truth of what she was saying. _I hardly even know I'm doing it anymore_, he thought. _But she's right. If we're moving forward, there has to be give and take_.

"OK," he said. "I want to be with you too. I've been ready for… a long time."

"Too long?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. He could see the guilt in her eyes, and the worry.

He opened his mouth to say _Of course not_, but he realised that his reply was automatic, to mollify her and play it safe. _Give and take_, he thought.

"Maybe," he replied at last. "But that's done now."

She looked away for a moment, her face taught with emotion, and when she looked back he could see a blend of worry, relief and determination in her eyes.

"Thank you so much for waiting for me," she said. "I swear I'm going to make it up to you."

He sighed wistfully, cupping her cheek with his palm. "Kate, just be with me. That's all I want. That's always been what I wanted."

She lifted her hand to cover his, sealing his palm against her face.

"I _am_ with you," she said.

She dropped her hand as he leaned towards her, gently guiding her chin upwards, and captured her lips with his. His tongue brushed gently over her lower lip and she sighed as she opened her mouth to him. He tasted of wine and coffee and something spicy, and he was so incredibly gentle that she thought she would cry.

They were lost in each other for what seemed like hours. When he finally pulled back just enough to separate their lips, they immediately felt a sense of loss. He pressed one more soft kiss against her lips and then sat back against the leather couch, taking her hand in his and tracing circles on it with his thumb.

She couldn't suppress the emotion that welled up inside her, and before she could blink, she felt a tear rolling slowly down her cheek.

His eyes tracked it and widened in surprise, and he smiled tenderly at her as he reached up to swipe it away.

"Oh god Rick," she said, her voice wavering on his name, "You just… when you look at me like that, and you _kiss_ me like that–"

Another tear spilled out and she blinked rapidly several times, then looked up at him again.

"It's so _much_. You can do that, after… everything, and me pushing you away. How can you do that?"

Her voice was quavering now, and was at least half an octave higher than usual. His thumb stroked her hand reassuringly as she took in every detail of his face.

"You make me feel… just, so…"

"Loved?" he asked, so softly that he almost mouthed the word, and her heart thundered in her chest.

Her mouth fell open, and then closed again, and another tear trickled down. He reached up and swiped this one away too, and smiled at her. It was one of his _Castle_ smiles: closed-mouthed, ear-to-ear, and it crinkled the corners of his eyes. The weight of affection in it struck her like a physical blow, and she sobbed.

"Kate," he said gently, lifting her hand up and squeezing it, "listen to me, because this is important."

She didn't trust her voice, so she simply nodded.

"There are words for how I feel about you," he said. "I know what they are. They've been on the tip of my tongue for a long time."

She could feel her pulse pounding in her ears.

"They're the only words that fit," he added.

She took a shuddering breath.

"But you can _relax_–" he said, with the barest hint of amusement, and she managed a single laugh, tightening her grip on his hand.

"–because I'm not going to say them tonight. Words need to be right, but they also need to come at the right time."

She nodded slowly, feeling her pulse slow a little.

"I'm going to wait some more, and I'll know when it's time," he said. "I just want you to remember that the words have been _here_" – he lifted his other hand and placed it over his heart – "for a long time, and they're not going anywhere."

He looked deep into her eyes, willing her to understand.

"I'm gonna say them to you sometime. But they're already _yours_. OK?"

"OK," she said, her voice just a whisper, then she folded herself into his arms, her head coming to rest at the junction of his neck and shoulder, and her arms cinched tight around his waist.

He held her silently for long minutes, the clock on the mantelpiece ticking comfortingly in the background, and his strong arms holding her against him.

_I love you too_, she thought, over and over again.

After what might have been ten minutes or might equally have been forty, he rubbed his palm gently across her upper back.

"I think we should probably get some sleep," he said, and she reluctantly disentangled herself from him, keeping a hand on his thigh.

"I guess so," she said.

"Had a big day."

She smiled and nodded.

He clasped her hand again and they both slowly stood up and then walked from the living room.

Castle switched off lights on the way, and they climbed the stairway in silence, careful not to disturb Alexis. He walked her to the door of her room, and then raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss against it.

"We've got plenty of time," he said, keeping his voice low, and she smiled gratefully.

"Goodnight, Rick," she said, and he smiled.

"Goodnight, Kate."

He released her hand and he was about to turn away when she reached up and caressed his cheek, then leaned in and kissed him. She held her lips against his for several seconds, and when she pulled away she had the most beautiful Beckett smile on her face.

It took all of his willpower to swallow the three words that almost made it past his lips, and he just smiled at her instead.

She traced his lower lip with her index finger, then quickly turned and went into her bedroom.

He sighed contentedly, then after a moment he continued along the corridor towards his room.


	15. Chapter 15

Castle woke up slowly, and it took him a few moments to recognise the master bedroom at the beach house.

He remembered the events of the day before, and he grinned, stretching his arms out to his side.

Sunlight was already creeping in around the edges of the curtains, and he felt well enough rested despite lying awake for an hour after he went to bed.

His bedroom door was ajar, from a habit formed when Alexis was a baby, and for a moment he thought he could hear a noise from downstairs. He glanced at his bedside iPhone dock and saw that it was only a little after 8AM, which was a little early for Alexis to be up. He rolled out of bed and went straight into the en suite bathroom.

He emerged a few minutes later, feeling much more awake. His hair was in some semblance of order, he'd brushed his teeth, and a splash of cold water had chased away the last fuzziness of sleep. His stubble would need some attention later, but for now he just pulled on a Star Wars t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, then ventured out into the hallway.

He heard another clink from downstairs, and headed in the direction of the main stairs. He didn't try to move quietly once he was halfway down the stairs, so he wasn't surprised when he entered the kitchen and found Beckett already looking in his direction, her back leaning against the countertop, with the coffee machine just starting to burble behind her.

"Hi," she said, with a smile.

She was clearly still in her sleepwear: a pair of flannel pyjama trousers, and a simple cotton cami top in burgundy. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, and a few strands had escaped and hung around her face.

"Hey," he said, crossing the kitchen towards her. She didn't even wait for him to reach her, instead taking several steps towards him and putting her arms around his neck. She laid her head against his chest and sighed happily.

His arms slid around her waist and held her against him.

"I made coffee," she murmured, her words muffled by his t-shirt.

"Woman of my dreams," he replied, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. _I missed you_, he thought, but he didn't say it.

"I'm glad you're making yourself at home," he said instead, and she lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I, uh, I need all the help I can get."

She grinned. "Good save."

"I thought so too," he replied smugly, and she tightened her arms around his neck.

The coffee machine was percolating just a few feet away, so neither of them heard the soft footsteps out on the stairway, or the sound of bare feet padding along the downstairs hallway towards them.

Castle lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and she smiled.

"You like doing that," she said.

"Busted," he replied. "And here's another thing I like doing…"

He leaned down and kissed her, and she hummed in satisfaction as her hands slid from the back of his neck up into his hair. She tasted of mint, and somehow also of something sweet that was uniquely _Kate_.

Their lips parted, and her eyes fluttered open again. She smiled up at him, loving the easy sparkle in his blue eyes.

"Is that how you're gonna say good morning to me every day, Rick?" she asked teasingly, and he was about to respond when they were both startled by the sound of Alexis clearing her throat.

Their heads flew around to see the girl standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, with a raised eyebrow and a very noticeable blush in her cheeks.

Beckett's hands slid down to rest against Castle's chest, and his hands moved to her hips, but he didn't release her.

"Alexis!" Beckett said, her cheeks colouring, and Castle just smiled at his daughter as if there was nothing at all out of the ordinary about having just kissed his partner.

"Morning, pumpkin," he said brightly, and Alexis harrumphed.

"That's all you have to say for yourself, dad?" she replied, putting a hand on her hip. Castle's smile faltered slightly, and Beckett laughed.

"Don't torture him too much," she said to the girl, and Alexis smirked at her, finally taking a few steps into the room.

"I really hope this _is_ what it looks like," she said, folding her arms and looking at the two of them expectantly.

Castle and Beckett looked round at each other, his hands still on her hips and hers still flat against his chest.

"Is this what it looks like?" he asked, raising his eyebrows innocently, and she rolled her eyes.

"What does it look like?" she replied.

"It looks _kind of_ like we're… uh…"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Together?" Alexis suggested, the excitement now obvious in her voice.

Castle nodded his head in his daughter's direction. "What she said."

"Hmmm," Beckett replied, drawing the word out as she pretended to contemplate the question for a moment. "Then yeah, I guess it's what it looks like," she said with a grin.

"Yay!" Alexis squealed, clapping her hands. She was grinning from ear to ear, and Beckett felt an enormous surge of affection for the girl.

Castle lifted one hand from Beckett's hip and extended his arm towards his daughter. "C'mere, you," he said.

Beckett took a half-step away from Castle and shifted one of her hands to his waist, extending her other arm towards Alexis too. The girl stepped into their embrace and slid her arms around them both.

Castle craned his neck down and kissed the top of his daughter's head, then lifted his eyes to see Beckett smiling at him adoringly. He winked at her, and her whole face softened. He thought he saw a hint of mistiness in her eyes, before she quickly blinked it away.

"So who finally made the first move?" Alexis asked, looking up at both of them with a gentle smile on her face.

"Um…" Castle said, glancing at Beckett with a slight frown of concentration. "Well, the night before last, you said–"

"And then we were in here yesterday, when you talked about–" she interjected.

"Then we talked again in the pool," he added. "You said you wanted to–"

"Then there was last night," she said shyly.

"When you kissed me," he said, unable to keep a note of pride and smugness from his voice.

Alexis squeaked.

"Yep, that was me," Beckett replied, blushing again. Then she remembered his words the night before, and her entire face softened.

She sighed deeply, and Alexis felt her own heart skip a beat at the adoring expression on the usually tough detective's face.

"Your dad is a very special man," she said, looking at Alexis fondly before returning her gaze to Castle.

"Probably the most special man in this entire _house_, even," he replied, and she huffed at him in mock exasperation.

"In this whole… street?" he asked, and Alexis grinned while Beckett just looked at him pointedly.

"Zip code?" he suggested, waggling his eyebrows and tugging her closer. "Surely not… the entire _state_?"

"Still doesn't sound right," Beckett replied, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

"Hmm…" he replied, looking at her contemplatively for a long moment.

"In the country?" Alexis asked, and Beckett grinned at her.

Castle just blinked innocently, looking from one to the other, causing both women to roll their eyes.

Beckett lifted her other arm from around Alexis's shoulders and placed her hand on Castle's chest. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and then patted him gently.

"In the _whole world_," she said, in a tone of exaggerated sweetness, drawing a giggle from Alexis.

Castle inflated with male pride, beaming at her, then his eyes narrowed slightly as a thought occurred to him.

"Just _this_ world?" he asked hopefully, and this time Beckett lifted her hand away from his broad chest, and poked a finger between his ribs.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Author's note: I plan to continue this story in parallel to another, new one that I've just published tonight. It's called Thaw. I'll probably focus on the new one for the next few days or so, and I really hope you'll join me there and let me know what you think.**_

_**Angst is the truest form of a Caskett tale, after all.**_


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